Hiw to believe
I act like I believe in the universe, or the law, I talk like it, think like it. However I'm aware that deep down I believe, even after having small results and manifestations, that it was probably bound to happen anyway, or maybe it was placebo, or luck, what about that other small thing I asked the universe for and it didn't happen? Because it's just random coincidence that some things I asked for, happened, some didn't.
Now, I want to believe in the universe. In fact I am completely sure I consciously believe, but my subconscious doesn't. I don't ask the universe for a desire that truly matters to me, because I think that it will probably not happen and I will have to face reality. Maybe I had asked in the past and got nothing.
I don't know how to fix this, it's physically upsetting now.