Thinking about chapter 94 and growing up
I felt like writing an essay after reading chapter 94 today. It has been a long time since I wrote an essay which wasn't a technical report for school. I just wanted to since Witch Hat Atelier does such a good job of showing how growing up can feel which I relate on a personal level
Growing up, the times I truly realized how much I had changed were when I saw children and started to remember how I felt at their age. As a timid kid, whenever I met an adult, whether they were in their early twenties or much older, they would always approach me with friendly questions. To my kid brain, adults knew what they were doing. They could order their own food without hesitation and make small talk with people in line. I never questioned whether the person in front of me needed courage to approach me.
So I assumed that courage would come naturally with time. It was a small comfort, considering how apprehensive I was and still am about approaching people. That’s why I ended up thinking so much about a panel from Witch Hat Atelier chapter 94. It reminded me of a recent interaction I had.
I’ve realized that strangely enough, I still find it harder to talk to children than to adults. I always feel like I’m supposed to be more fun and engaging in a way I can’t quite manage. Recently, my mom’s friend visited and brought her son. I tutored him years ago when he was still learning to read. He was much bigger now, somewhere between elementary and middle school.
While my mom talked with her friend, I stood there awkwardly. I noticed him sitting on the couch, glancing around the room, looking just as out of place. It reminded me of how I used to feel when my mom brought me to unfamiliar houses. I would sit there unsure of what to do, just waiting to go home. The difference was that, back then, someone would usually come up and talk to me.
Looking at him, I felt like I should be that person this time.
Even knowing that, all I could manage was a “You’ve gotten a lot bigger. What grade are you in?” After that, the moment just passed. Nothing particularly meaningful happened, and it was easier to stay quiet, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had missed something.
It made me confront a pattern I’ve noticed in myself. Growing up, most of my friendships started because someone else approached me. Most conversations began because someone else initiated them. It’s something that hasn’t fully changed, even now. I’ve tried to work on it, especially in college, and while I haven’t given up, it’s still something I struggle with.
Reading Witch Hat Atelier, I found myself relating more to Qifrey than to the girls. If I had read it when I was younger, I don’t think I would have understood that feeling. He is someone who is supposed to be reliable, someone others can look to, but there are still moments where he struggles to make the right decision. Despite that, he never forgot the comfort he found from others growing up and tries his best to instill that courage in the younger generation.
I like that he describes himself as the giver, because that’s what I feel like now as I transition into adulthood. Being the giver doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid or that you always know what you’re doing. It just means remembering how others made you feel and trying to pass that on, even if you don’t do it perfectly.
