I'm never going to a conference again. I'm so overwhelmed.
(materials eng) I am surrounded here by people who do more than I, have done more than I, and will do more than I.
All these professors are giving talks, are married and show no signs of struggling through a PhD. Everyone is polished and well spoken. Everyone is famous. I feel silly presenting a poster because I know that the PhD scientists here no longer do such a thing. It's a grad student thing so I feel like a little child being watched by a parent.
I've never felt so small in my life. I don't have the credo to be here. I'm grateful that my advisor found the monies to let me go and have a hotel but there's no point to a conference for me. I have a first author paper that is only in review (I'm a third year). I am no super star. I don't have 500 citations on Google scholar. There is no point attending an academic conference if you a. Don't have a paper out and b. Aren't successful in the discipline and life at large. I want to run and hide.