u/mecha_grove

Along with r/mildyinteresting for spreading my stories/helping me immensly, r/rsai for the emotional support (genuinely a kind and beautiful community), and r/urbancarliving for meeting me on the same level, and making me feel welcome, and alive.

I risked my comfort, and home to stand against my parents abusing me, and foster children. I went homeless in tennesee with no money, and just a van, a full tank, my two orange kitties, and somehow made it to lake michigan...despite having grand mal seizures from my epilepsy.

In a matter of 3 months...while living in my van in the northern winter, and all 3 subs supported me in many different ways...I got a new job, and an apartment, and am now working on switching from manufacturing to Healthcare....starting with autism behavioral work.

My kitties are well fed, and happy. My health/epilepsy is slowly improving. I wasnt able to help all the foster kids my parents have, but thats life in america sadly, but my boys, and I are finally safe again while I rebuild.

So really...thank you.

Pagan_mechanist, Tippums, Hardcore Henry.

Landing together” in squads means:

>four human beings

>using four gliders

>landing in the SAME ZIP CODE

Not:

>One guy landing at Brutal Boxcars,

>One dude AFK floating into the ocean contemplating taxes,

>One teammate landing directly on a medallion boss with a gray pistol and the confidence of a Roman emperor,

>And the last guy marking a location 12 miles away like he’s beginning a spiritual pilgrimage.

If I ping a house… and I see your outline drifting across the horizon like a lost migrating goose… we are no longer a squad. We are a documentary about communication failure.

A squad that lands together:

>shares loot

>survives third parties

>can reboot

>can apply pressure

>can scream and panic together as a family.

End of lesson. No homework. Happy friday.

One of the few times I feel real peace.....actual silence in my head....is in the middle of chaos.

My mind’s always run hot. Always moving. Always thinking.

But when I’m mid-air in a vehicle, aimed straight into the center of a fight… everything goes quiet. No past. No noise. Just the moment.

Drop in like a rock.

Brain locked in.

Decisions firing fast.....uppercut? blow it up? bait them into the car and send it off a cliff?

It doesn’t even matter if I win.

Winning, to me, is performative chaos.

It’s making someone pause for a split second and go:

“...what the hell did I just watch?”

Thought a lot of you can relate. <3

&#x200B;

i know some of you say acapella,

but the room already has an echo,

&gt;it’s your mother clapping in a loop

she told you...

&gt;you are brilliant

&gt;you are radiant

&gt;you are a voice worth hearing

&gt;//ERROR: INPUT SOURCE = BIASED//

so you sang....

and the air folded in on itself like a dying server rack,

fans screaming,

pitch collapsing into static,

&gt;i physically cringe.wav

people prop each other up,

like broken mannequins,

duct-taped smiles,

filters lacquered over frowns,

&gt;we are all gods now

&gt;instagram said so

&gt;double-tap to ascend

&gt;triple-tap to believe it

but divinity shouldn’t buffer this much,

somewhere a poem writes itself

badly....

&gt;“i am deep,” it says

while drowning in an inch of water

&gt;“i am insightful,” it says

while staring into a black mirror that only reflects ads.

who’s behind that filter?

&gt;//loading…//

&gt;//loading…//

&gt;//face_not_found//

eyes hollowed with want,

&gt;not hunger......no, hunger is honest

this is curated starvation,

lust shaped like validation,

validation shaped like noise,

which reality do you prefer?

&gt;odd, isn’t it...

even the cats look unreal now

too perfect,

too centered,

too aware of the camera,

&gt;are they real?

&gt;am i?

&gt;//RESYNCING SELF…//

i think we forgotchow to hear something raw

without trying to edit it...

or worse....

encourage it,

because honesty is now labeled as a bug

not a feature...

bring back blunt honesty,

not to break people...

but to stop the slow rot,

because a lie repeated softly...

&gt;is still a lie

and eventually even the system believes it.

Pagan_mechanist

&#x200B;

Hello all. Im sure most of you remeber me from winter cold survival in my van with my kitties tippums and hardcore henry.

My apologies for being quiet lately as I am slowly rebuilding my life...just accepted a job for autism behavioral tech!...and managing my epilepsy.

As a new mod here... I want to make you all aware of my clear goals in this position....which are very simple goals.

1. protect the mental health of my fellow vehicle dwellers. As I understand how fragile mental health is. I encourage health arguments/discussion, but bullies will get a warning/ban.

2. protect vulnerable people from predators. Immediate ban. No questions asked.

3. prevent hate, and foster community structure. As there is far to much hate, and judgment in the world, and it stops in our doorway...now.

My DMs are always open to talk out advice, topics, or even if you feel i misjudged as a mod. I am calm, and I encourage you to challenge me if you feel i am unfair as it helps both you, and I grow.

With love...Pagan_mechanist