u/maikun87

I find myself spending excessive time optimising everything and forgetting the fundamental of it. - have fun with the "games"?

instead all the time and energy is at

- finding the correct hardware, model, brand, design, cost

- downloading the archives

- ensuring good backup

- shortlisting the games I "think" I want to play

- finding and setting up the best charging solution

- (ongoing) rest/seating place for game time

- using power outlet instead of battery to conserve battery life

- troubleshooting the issues faced...

more and more and end up... I'm just exhausted them all to even want to play. anything.

or sometimes even just go back to simple apotris.

worse... YouTube or Reddit.

Kindly allow me to rant here. I do not expect any responses. I like to put a TRIGGER Warning that the following is related to both mental and physical health issues. I seek your kind understanding.

army daily routines and mantras

cold showers

cold showers after eating calories

earning calories

vegetables first then "calories" later.

vegetables only at certain meals

exercise daily - must include jumping jacks till last breathe of strength

sweat after exercise means "good job. you earned your food"

exercise first thing in the morning - no excuses to avoid laziness in future

weight gain means bad. bad in terms you gained fat. irregardless what the scales digitally can scan

lower smaller weight means good. thin is good. (OCD/eating disorder related)

cardio only, strength training does not burn calories.

settle all daily chores, clean up, prepare desks, before eating, "playing", "resting"

no sugar

fibre only meals

no white flour/rice/carbs

keep things neat and tidy

don't keep excessive useless stuffs

plant based only diet

calories in calories out

what you ate yesterday if weight drops, continue

what you ate yesterday if weight increases, reduce/cut

don't keep diet hopping

eat this first then that

retrograded carbs only

eating frozen sweet potato

directly eating frozen vegetables

no water calories

walking does not mean exercise

running and sweating later means exercise

exercising with repetition and sets counting - what used to work yesterday, must be done the same today, and after. no discount/negotiations

in full honesty yes people will suggest me to seek professional help. rest assured it is on another track. but what I only want to accomplish here is just a place to type out. it's pointless to rant to real life people, professionals even parents, etc.

but in addition. I have to state clear some minor rules, values, egos that I have hard set to myself, I actually forced broken a couple of times. but sometimes I still revert to protect myself from dropping off the "wagon" FOMO? I dunno.

there are some that are scientifically evident yet I refuse to believe. i.e. CICO, water retention, weights fluctuations, etc. sweat does not mean a good workout, it's only body ventilates.

sometimes I question if I should give up. what used to work. even something as simple as exercise. the jumping jacks that I hate yet still do just to get it "done" and the "afterburn pain"

I know that some stuffs ain't me. it's not a genuine me. a supposed lazy person.

I apologise if I took up too much of your time to just read through.

but still. thank you.