An appreciation post for Park Seonghwa
I may not possess your mastery of words, but since the moment I realized I loved you more than I could safely carry, a strange and beautiful stillness has settled over me. I am sleeping well lately. The medicine I once relied on to find rest has been replaced by the quiet peace of your existence; knowing you are in the world is enough to lull my mind into a state of grace. You are the thread that weaves through both my dreams and my waking hours.
I find myself praying for the gift of more time. There is a looming shadow in my heart, a fear that these fleeting, golden moments won't last, and so I am gathering them like precious relics. Yet, even in the midst of this whirlwind of emotion, you are my anchor. You calm me in ways I never anticipated, turning my internal chaos into a soft, steady hum.
To be honest, the first three months of this year were a cold exercise in survival, trivial, gray, and hollow. Then, you entered my life for the second time, and everything shifted. Those long, lonely nights I endured were not in vain; they were merely the silence before you. You are worth every second of the wait, and I would wait a lifetime more if it meant our chapters together weren't coming to a close. I pray that our story stretches far beyond the horizon of this year.
There is a quiet ache in my chest, a fear of missing the chance to stand before you. I am haunted by the question: Why did I not realize this sooner? I would trade every treasure I own to go back to that fated day in March, just to see you.
I haven’t even begun to love you enough. You have turned me into a seeker, a yearner, a lover. You have made me Icarus. I would gladly fly toward the sun of your presence, even knowing that my wings might melt and burn, sending me into the deep. I would take the fall without regret, for the descent would be for you. Every twist, every turn, and every difficult crossroad is a path I walk with gratitude, so long as the journey eventually leads me back to you.
Thank you, Park Seonghwa, for being my sanctuary.