My mom works for a in home care aide agency and after some awful months in retail, my mom convinced me to work with this agency for a bit. My mom has only had clients that need some companionship, light housework and the occasional trip out. Sounded doable. Like alot of people, I was not given too much training at all. It also doesn’t help that I was taken off one antidepressant and put on another during my first week. I have no medical training what so ever but I have watched some videos on transferring and lifting.
My first ever client is mostly quiet and pleasant and lives with 2 sons and elderly husband. She only has one leg and needs help with transfers, toileting, diapers, all that stuff. I only work for 3 hours 4 times a week. I do have an amazing coordinator who is very kind and supportive when I shadowed her. But on my 2nd day she was an hour late and today, only the 3rd day on the job, she didn’t come in and I was alone. I had no idea what I was doing. Alot of this particular clients needs are companion based which I can do, but when it comes to the bathing and toileting I just feel like physically im not strong enough. Just dead weight. I have watched someone bathe her but actually doing it by myself was difficult and I felt so bad for her today.
I have pretty bad issues with anxiety and guilt. I feel so uncomfortable just sitting around when she’s sleeping (working retail the last 6 years makes me feel like I always have to be doing something on the clock) and even when I ask him he usually just says everything's fine. I don’t think they know that I have literally no experience with changing, transferring or bathing clients. My boss made it seem like all I would be doing was light housework and companionship. When I explained I only have watched her get a sponge bath once and that my coordinator would be back tomorrow. But the guilt and awkwardness made me feel like i had to at least try, and I did get her diaper changed and her intimate areas wiped and powdered. I looked like an idiot but I was alone so hey. I KNOW I need to ask for help. Not just for my safety but the clients as well but all I can think of is how the family probably needs a break from caring for. That’s what I’m there for! What good am I for if I can’t do this for 3 hours by myself? Even when one of the sons did help me get her on the toilet he kinda made it seem like he was annoyed that he was doing anything at all which is so real. Like they’re paying for someone to care for their beloved mom and yet here I am barely trained and looking crazy. The 3 days I’ve been with her the care coordinator has praised me for how I interact with her and I always make sure to thank the family when they do help me. I care for her like she was my own family member. I think I may be too anxious for a role like this.