u/luvuhyawwwrrr

I just need to vent because the last few days have been mentally exhausting.

I was preparing for a competitive exam for a long time. I’ll be honest I wasn’t very consistent in the beginning, but toward the end I really stepped up, stayed disciplined, and gave it my best. The exam itself went… okay. I’ll probably get into a okayish college, just not a top-tier one.

And honestly, that part doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.

What’s really getting to me is my family.

My parents have supported me financially throughout my preparation, and I genuinely respect that. I understand they have expectations it’s natural. But emotionally? There’s been nothing. Just surface level positivity like “it’s okay if you don’t do well,” but deep down I know they want something big, something they can show off.

The weirdest part is this after my exam, they called me once to ask how it went. I said it was “okay-ish.” And since then… nothing. It’s been almost two weeks. No calls, no messages, no checking in to see how I’m doing mentally. Nothing.

Today I reached out because I needed some money for personal expenses, and it just triggered everything.

I hate saying this, but I don’t even feel like I have a real family sometimes. It feels more like I’m an investment they’re putting money into me now so I can “pay it back” later.

As for my sister, I don’t even know what to call that relationship. She’s very calculated she knows exactly how to stay on my parents’ good side, never questions them, never takes a stand for me. And I get why because it benefits her. Financially, emotionally, everything. But it just makes me feel even more alone.

I’m not someone who can just pretend or be a “yes person.” If something feels wrong, I can’t ignore it.

I tried talking to my mom today she’s a master manipulator tbh, and it was honestly draining. In a 10-minute conversation, she spoke for almost the entire time. No listening, no understanding just talking over me. It feels like they don’t even see me as a person with emotions. Just someone who should listen, perform, and not complain.

I’m just… tired of it.

I reached out to a couple of friends because I was on the verge of breaking down. They told me to keep my distance and focus on myself because people like this don’t really change.

And maybe they’re right.

But it still hurts.

It’s a strange feeling working so hard, going through something as stressful as an exam, and then realizing the people you expected emotional support from just… aren’t there.

Right now, I don’t even feel like I have parents. Just people who invested in me and are waiting for returns.

TL;DR:

Prepared hard for a competitive exam and did okay, but what hurts more is the lack of emotional support from my family. Parents only seem financially invested and haven’t checked on me since the exam, and my sister avoids supporting me to stay in their good books. Feeling more like an “investment” than a person.