u/lunancholia

Ciao, sono un ragazzo AuDHD che ha terminato da poco l’università e si è trasferito in una nuova città.
Volevo sapere se esistessero dei gruppi Telegram o server Discord dove poter conoscere altre persone neurodivergenti e scambiare quattro chiacchiere. Mi farebbe piacere confrontarmi con voi e chiedere qualche consiglio. Ho scoperto da relativamente poco di essere un ragazzo ND e mi sento abbastanza spaesato :(

Spero di fare la conoscenza di belle persone 🫶🏻

Hi everyone, I say sorry in advance for every mistake I could be making. English isn't my main language, please keep that in mind as you read through...

I’m writing this because I’m at my limit and I don’t know what else to do. I work professionally with ADHD children and I am ADHD myself. I joined a Discord server that presents itself as a safe, welcoming space for neurodivergent people — mainly young autistic and ADHD individuals, including many minors. At first it seemed perfect: a place where people like us could talk without masking, share experiences, and find support.

Unfortunately, it has turned into one of the most toxic and authoritarian environments I’ve ever seen. The admin and moderators act like tyrants. They enforce the rules completely arbitrarily and selectively. People get warned or banned for the smallest things — or even for things they didn’t do. They punish users who have been inactive for days or weeks. They frequently send private messages to members to intimidate them and “put them in their place”. Yesterday evening, even though I hadn’t written anything in the server for 4 days, a moderator sent me a long, formal, threatening message listing vague rules (including banning any discussion about moderation even in voice chats) and calling it a “final formal warning”. When I politely asked for concrete examples of what I supposedly did, I’m expecting either silence or further punishment.

This is not moderation but bullying with extra steps. They created a climate of fear where people are scared to speak, scared to question anything, and scared to even exist in the server. Many members are young neurodivergent people who already struggle with social cues, rejection sensitivity, and authority issues. Having adults (or people in positions of power) behave like this is genuinely harmful.

I have reported the situation to Discord multiple times over the past months with no real results. The server is still up, the same staff is still in control, and the cycle of random punishments continues. I don’t want to just leave quietly. There are good people in there, many vulnerable teens and young adults who finally found a group where they felt accepted. Abandoning them without trying everything possible feels wrong. At the same time I can’t keep watching this abuse.

I'm asking you this guys:

• Has anyone successfully gotten Discord Trust & Safety to investigate a server with abusive staff? What worked?
• Are there specific things I should include in a detailed Trust & Safety report (screenshots, patterns, presence of minors, etc.) to make them take it seriously?
• Should I report the server on other platforms (e.g. if it’s advertised somewhere)?
• Any advice from people who have dealt with similar “neurodivergent safe space” servers that turned abusive?
• If you have experience with this kind of situation, please share (without doxxing or brigading, of course).

I’m not looking for revenge. I just want the people running this server to be held accountable and for the vulnerable members to have a chance at a genuinely safe environment. The fact that there are minors involved makes this even more serious in my eyes.

Thank you for reading. Any constructive advice is appreciated. I’ll try to answer questions if needed.