u/lukewarmtrifle

I know I chose to have a baby and he is the best decision I ever made. I truly feel that everything bad that's happened to me in life happened so i would delay having children and conceive this exact baby. He is the happiest, cheekiest little thing.

That being said, the mental load is exhausting and I need my partner to try and anticipate things more.

He works away and he always said he would stop if it didn't work. The last stint of him being away I had to ask him to come home early. I very clearly told him I was overwhelmed but I still had to ask, he didn't ask me if I was coping or if he needed to come home. He also casually told me he will be working away when I return to work and I had to tell him no, he cannot be Ina different country when I return to work and our son starts childcare. Also, we have pets that get separation anxiety with him away for more than a few days and I had to tell him he can't be gone for more than this. I also have to leave the room if I want to relax because he doesn't try to do anything on his own, it's always "can you pass me this, can you make the bottle". The morning after he last came home I said I just wanted to drink a coffee properly without having to get up, he got up before I was half way through it and left me with the baby.

He also promised he had something extra planned for me on Mother's Day as he was working away so I spent my day looking after our son and watching my mum get spoiled and coming home to put the baby straight to bed and spend the evening alone watching the monitor. Nothing has transpired. I brought it up more than once and got told "soon". How I'm reading all the Mother's Day posts from Americans and it's brought it up again for me.

He is a very good dad and works hard and does as much as he can, mornings feeds cleaning etc.

I feel awful because he really does try but I am finding that having to point out quite big things, organise my own breaks and just generally plan everything out is starting to make me resentful.

That's it really. Thanks for reading, if you did!