u/likaa_crossing

Hi, I’m just a tad confused,
I have been restricting for quite a while and the last few days just been eating mainly junk food, I do feel a bit guilty afterwards but not as much as I used to.
I do keep thinking ‘I’ll make up for this tomorrow’ and then by the end of the day I’m snacking again, quite a lot. Maybe it’s the restrict and binge cycle?
I know this isn’t pro ana page but feels like it’s not disordered eating if I’m eating something and junk food at that, I do feel gross afterwards and like i need to make up for it.
But I can eat junk food easily but when it comes to proper food and eating out, I find that so stressful with the calories.
I try and do a tonne of steps a day as well but my right leg is starting to really hurt at the hip. I do achieve my daily step goal and try and go above it.
I do right now feel horrific and bloated as I’ve eaten so many snacks today after work. But just wondering if anyone else does this?

Does anyone restrict all day then snack in the evening, like junk food? I can’t control it. I wanted to try and recover and then bought some snacks and I’ve eaten them and feel like crap.

Don’t know if I want to come out of this, not eating feels easier because when I start eating after restricting, I can’t stop and then feel like absolute crap about it and want it back out of my body.

Hi.

I had to tell my boyfriend last night about my potential eating disorder. I haven’t been diagnosed with anything or been to the doctors but pretty sure I do.

I had to tell him as we live together and issues were arising and I had to tell him. It’s only been a few months but I was quite petite anyway so a few months of restriction and I’m underweight. I don’t want him to worry but I don’t feel ready to ‘recover’ I know it’s dangerous but I don’t want to stop yet.

I want to be sick for a while, I’ve held it in for so long and now I don’t have the pressure of training to be someone who cares for others, I want to be unwell for a while and then pick myself up, but don’t want my relationship to suffer more than it has. When I’m around others I can sort of turn it off, have something to eat when I’m out but that’ll be low calorie and the only meal I have, but sometimes cave and consume a lot of calories in one go.

I feel so stuck and not sure what to do,

Rationally recovery is needed but I feel like I need to be sick and poorly with this for a while and bring myself up again…