I am tired of hearing fellow divorced dads complain about child support.
I am a happily divorced father of 2 wonderful kids with a newish 50/50 custody arrangement. I often get to chat with other divorced dads. Without fail, the “crippling” burden of having to pay child support comes up. Now I get it, having to shell out a monthly payment to your ex HURTS, but where my annoyance stems from are the talking points(arranged in order of annoyance to me).
1)Many of these men would rather their kids go hungry and neglected than pay another cent. Not only is that fucked, but in general they are not willing to change their work life and other things to incorporate taking care of the kids. That’s not being a dad, that’s what the world calls a dead beat. If you are willing to let your kids go neglected and hungry, sign your rights away. You don’t deserve your kids
Variation of “If I have to her so she can take care of my kids, then I should have them full time instead of her” I am in support of a 50/50 split for both parents, but only if both parties can support taking care of the kid/s. Does your schedule allow you for school drop off and pick up? If not, how are you going to support that? Oh, you can’t afford to pay someone to pick up and watch your kids till you get home?…. Then how the literal hell are you going to ensure your young child is covered in the legal sense?!?! There is a reason why child support exists. The courts assume that both parties can work and use the non custodial parent to off set the cost of these items.
“my ex never lets me see my kids.” When was the last time you tried? Oh 6 months? Why? You don’t see the point of trying and you moved 3 states away? That’s on you my dude. Not only do you pay to never see your kids, but you moved AWAY from your kids. She moved? The fucking follow her and get a court order to prevent that from happening again with out hoops to jump through. I personally have a hard time not breaking composure here as I moved from IL to TX so I could be there for my kids. The only exception to judgement imo are military personnel or others who are on gov contracts.
“It would be SOOOOOOO much cheaper if I had my kids full time.” Ha. Haha. Hahaha. It is not. This is the point that was made to me this AM causing this rant. If I was a weekend father, I would “save” about 950/mo in expenses . I wouldn’t have to worry about which school district I’m in, afterschool care(550/mo), I could down size my home(~400/mo), afterschool pick up and care(300/mo), extra food costs(~200/mo)or summer coverage(~100/mo) over a 12 month yr. That’s NOT including activities,clothes, meds, dental appointments, eye appointments etc. If you cannot afford your kids when they are not with you, you won’t be able to afford the kids when you gain custody.
I am over it. If you want more time with your kids, fight for it. Yes, it is expensive to get everything redone, but if you have positioned yourself as a parent that can take care of the kids w/o major disruptions to kids life and schedules, you will have moderate to massive success. If you are unwilling to make it work into your life or thrust the responsibilities onto your gf for the month, do your kids a favor and keep only paying child support. That it. Rant over