Lying drunk teenager - what to do?
Arrrrgh I'm so so annoyed and angry right now.
Hadn't heard from my son for a bit as, like a typical teen, he hides out in his room playing Xbox all day but decided to go up and check on him as he wasn't responding when I called him. He' not in his room so I look for him.
I check my room to find vomit all over the wall and my son passed out in my bathroom. Of course I panic and shout his name and he instantly jerks up but is pale, has a red bump on his head and is slurring his words. He feels sick and doesn't want to sit up, I ask him if he's taken anything or drunk alcohol and he says no so I ring 999 and my mum to come lend a hand if needed (I'm disabled), all while he says he's ok and doesn't need an ambulance. Paramedics show up and ask him all the questions and do all the check and because they're not sure whats going on with him decide to take him to hospital for blood tests. Knowing how long the wait normally is (9hrs+) I start grabbing things whilst they take him in the ambulance.
I go in and the paramedics say they don't think he needs A&E now... and they ask my son if he has something to tell me. He keeps saying no, and the paramedic asks me what does it look like?
He turned 17 on Saturday and whilst taking the dog for a walk today (Sunday) said he wanted to test out the 'power of his beard' to see if he can pass for over 18 and buy alcohol. He gets a 70cl bottle of vodka sold to him at the local shop. He then proceeds to DOWN THE WHOLE THING and throw the bottle away before he gets back with the dog.
As far as I know it's his first time with spirits - he's had the occasional alcopop at Christmas supervised - and he said 'It's not my fault, I didn't know this was happen', literally blaming EVERYONE else and not taking accountability.
I apologise profusely to the paramedics and my mum, who has just cleaned up all the vomit, and I take his phone off him and block his wifi on everything for 2 weeks. I also get him to unlock his phone and go through his messages - I can't trust him any more apparently so wanted to see if his mates egged him on. I find nothing thankfully, but he's absolutely livid i'm going through his phone, and starts screaming at me and getting aggressive when I add longer to his phone and wifi ban for screaming and swearing at me.
I call his dad to have a word with him, he starts screaming at me whilst on the phone and dad backs me up thankfully.
Then I explain I'm going to stop talking to him about this until the morning when he's sober so he doesn't say anything he regrets (and I don't either).
This morning he wakes me up to ask for his phone to go to college with. It's locked but he can still make calls so I say no. 'what if something happens' blah blah blah - I still stick with no and he storms off after taking the £10 out of the case in case of emergencies.
10 minutes later he's back through the door saying he started walking but feels sick so can't go to college. He has practical exam this week so I basically say tough shit, go to college, and he does.
How the hell do I get him to see that what he did was his fault, that he was in the wrong, and that he takes accountability and accepts the consequences? Yes, I know teenagers are stupid, and drink alcohol etc, but what i'm most angry about it how much he repeatedly lied, and how that ambulance could have been used for a real emergency. If he'd told me I probably wouldn't have wasted the ambulances time.
He has a good heart, but i'm worried he's going off the rails as this isn't the first time he's lied to me repeatedly... and I don't know what to do. Any advice? TIA
UPDATE: When he got home from college we had a chat. Thank you all for making me see it's more important to make him feel like he can talk to me than show him how angry and disappointed I was. He has his phone back and even got me some chocs from the corner shop to say sorry (along with all the hangover remedies he could google).