How to talk to women in your 30s?
I've tried everything, and I cannot get to the point of dating. I'm 33, and for years I've been trying to improve myself. I still am. From running 3x a week, volunteering, creating grooming routines, dressing really well, I make decent money, being more social, etc., and nothing seems to be working. I'm still invisible to women. Like, it's baffling how invisible I am. And while I don't work on myself to meet women, people always say "don't focus on meeting women, work on yourself, and they will come," yet, in my case, they literally never do.
I don't chase women or dates. I'm not desperate or anything. I have anxiety and low self-esteem, so I don't approach women at all. But so often people will assume I'm trying to force women to like me and being creepy or staring at them or hovering around them or something, and that's not the case. I barely interact with them at all. I'm the last person to try to force anything, as I assume no one wants me around anyway, lol.
I am kinda ugly, and again, anxious, so it doesn't help matters. I've tried five different OLD for years, but I simply don't look good enough to get anything. I don't have delusional standards either; I would easily take a woman just as unattractive as I am. I'm 6'3 so that's something that should help me physically, but height is pretty moot when you're tall lol.
I've tried volunteering at an arts gallery and a clayworks studio, and that hasn't led to much, even platonically. I've joined several meetup groups, but I'm too anxious to actually attend them. I'm just trying to get to the point where I can casually date and get more experience and be more comfortable around women. I'm not seeking the "perfect woman" to come along and fix me or anything. I'm just trying to find someone with some compatibility to do things with...
No matter what I do, I'm never able to approach them. No at bars, concerts, festivals, art shows, or volunteering. Not even for a platonic conversation, let alone anything more. At this point, I'm worried nothing will ever change, and I'll just be forced to die alone.
It feels hopeless and is only getting worse...How can I improve?