(LONG POST. NEED HELP.) My partner has been lying about their age for the entire time I have known them.
EDITED to be easier to digest. I was pouring my heart out in the original rendition. Apologies if my responses are very emotional and not logical. So sorry. I guess it's not a long post anymore.
Currently I have no avenue of getting therapy just for myself. E is making attempts to get couples therapy for us.
Both "born" in 2003. I am 23. My birthday was not long ago this month. My partner, who I believed to be 22, turning 23, is actually 18, turning 19 in July. We are an LDR.
My partner, E, has been lying to me about their age and appearance while getting into a pseudo-situationship / real relationship with me.
We have engaged sexually through phone sex, and sexting, but no suggestive or downright lascivious images have been shared.
We were both uncomfortable with video calling, due to past problems, but would send images of each other, simple and cute things like hand-hearts, or outfit pictures for when we went out for the day, or just pictures of our faces on days we felt like we looked nice. Things that wouldn't warrant a reverse search.
They broke down to me a few days ago confessing to me about their misdeeds, telling me that they had been lying the entire time, and that yes, while I was 21, they were 17, engaging sexually with me.
E does not believe I am a groomer, or a pedophile. My moral grounds speak for this to people who know me, as I am very vocal as a victim of grooming myself. E takes full accountability for the shitty things they have done to me, and fully wants me to punish them for their actions.
My issue comes from my moral dilemma. Part of me does not care about the lying, but I care deeply about the fact that I feel as if I were to give them a second chance with me, that I would be no different from a pedophile, or a groomer, despite the fact they are a legal adult, and our age gap is only four years. I have known them for 5, meaning when I was 18, they were 14, adding to a layer of the dilemma I face.
For the both of our health, I want to know if It is okay from a moral standpoint to give them a second chance with me, or if It is best for them to be away from me.