u/indeterminateT

I've done a fair amount of psychedelics and thought I would be able to easily let go and let the trip run without hesitation. That's how all my other trips go. I really thought I did a nice small warmup over a month till I did my first big dose, and I was wrong. Just like a lot of other people I went too deep, too quick. Most would have considered it a very rough trip, which it was, but it was very eye opening of my brazen desire and over confidence. I waited a week to decompress and think about what I could remember and reflected about everything. I then started again doing 3 medium doses. The first dose is always fun and funny to watch. The second I feel like im being pushed to a different place, but unable to reach it. The third finally pushes a foot just past the door so I can see and learn. 3 is where is stop because I know im not ready enough to let go. From all of this im learning to be more comfortable with it. Taking adequate time to digest the 3 trips before doing it again. Its even helped me remeber more of that deep dive I did and...wow. I'm still a beginner, but to other beginners, you aren't ready to meet Ms. Sally. Take the time and the months to learn how to let go of your sense of self. If you do happen to dive deeper than you are ready for, think about it and why it happened. What did it teach you, why were you scared, how beautiful was it, what did you do wrong, and was it really that bad being uncomfortable? Its a wonderful experience. Think of it like driving. You were afraid at first and then after you got more used to it, it can be fun and relaxing.

I have a quasi trip sitter today. I set up 3 bowls in my pipe and went outside to warmup. I lit the first bowl of about 15mg and maybe felt a little lighter. I waited it for it to pass and lit the next bowl of around 25mg and not too long after, I got a feeling that I've felt before. Best description is me at that moment and the page for that moment was turning and i was the only one feeling it. I almost fell out of the chair I was sitting in. I grabbed my pipe and walked inside and just laid on the floor to let the moment pass. I went inside and got comfy and put on some music to drown out my roommate because she doesn't understand how to be quiet and be a chatterbox, and lit the 3rd bowl of about 25 mg. I felt the different realities of hallways rotating to lock into place. I measured out a last bowl of 20mg and very similar feeling of the world/reality rotating as if we are just a fleck of ink on a book to be read by someone. I felt my body trying to rotate with it but my hammock kept me from falling onto the floor. Exact same feeling I had last week when I tried it. Kind of neat, kind of weird, and words don't do the experience any sort of justice.