I'm a (M40) well spouse. As we all do, I have a lot of caretaking responsibilities. I'm also thoughtful, and do a lot of things that make my wife's life easier.
I have a close friend who is in a situationship with...a guy who is absolutely not bringing enough to the table (but, she pointed out, is definitely better than any of the other options over the last few years). I asked "has he ever seen something that would be helpful for you or make your life easier, and done it, without you needing to ask?"
Her answer was
"He saw that my electric toothbrush was out of battery and he put it on the charge cord, which was thoughtful. He didn't see that the cord wasn't plugged in, so I had to look for the toothbrush and it was still out of battery, but it was still nice. " I know the bar for men is low, but come on. This woman has a PhD and incredible emotional skills.
I don't even know if any former-well-spouses would still be in this forum. But does a man who was a well spouse and brings like a third of that care and energy to a subsequent dating relationship just absolutely blow the competition out of the water?