u/imnot11

my cat louie is my best friend. i’ve made so many posts about him which should be embarrassing but it isn’t because i love him so much. he is so nasty and weird and just straight up really really strange but so am i. i am weird and strange and he is a perfect cat for me! he’s so attached to me since he was a kitten, i’ve always been his safe space. when there’s a scare he runs to me. today i took him to the vet and he has a double ear infection and was scratching himself until he bled. he’s okay now and i paid what i needed to for the meds and everything is okay. they told me he needs to be fed senior food now…. and it kinda just really hit me that he’s getting really old. i mean he’s only 8. a terrible thing i’m going to say but i’ve never had a cat (or any animal, really) live over 9 or 10, that’s because while living with my family our cats were always indoor and outdoor and we never had money to really help them if they were in true medical need. my childhood cat, cloud, either was exposed to oleanders or had feline leukemia, we weren’t sure but we had to put him down because we couldn’t afford to treat him. my mom also said that he was “too old” which is insane. i was talking to my vet today and found out indoor cats can live up to 15 to 20 years. and my goal, as long as he isn’t suffering, is to get louie to live to 20 years old. i would be 35 by the time he would be 20. i am a full fledged adult now with my own adult money, and louie is truly my prized possession. he is not only a cat to me but he truly is my best friend. idk if that’s weird or not. but i can genuinely tell louie anything and he will stare at me in my eyes like he understands, and no matter what i say to him he wont tell anybody anything because he’s a cat. i know he is just a cat. but he’s seen everything that has happened to me since i was 15, and boy it’s been a LOT. and no matter how sad i was and pushed him away he would still come right back and comfort me. i don’t know what i would do without my nightly louie routine. i try not to think about what life would be without him but i can’t help it. my routine is i feed louie, take a shower while he eats (or he’ll wait outside the door for me so he can eat with me), come back and i make the bed and make sure all of his blankets are on top of mine, and once he’s done eating i’ll pet him and he will drool and shake his head and lick his lips and enjoy his pets. until he gets bothered by it and decides enough is enough and so i leave him alone and he washes himself and i play on my phone until i fall asleep. and then in the morning he screams at me and shoves his paws in my mouth to wake me up to feed him. he will scratch my eyes, my forehead, my cheeks, and my nose and mouth. i hate it so much… but i know i’d miss it. if he dies before reaching 20 i know for a fact i would/will do whatever i could to help him and i showed him all of the love a cat could get and then some. he is my best friend and i know when it happens i will never, ever get over him.

now other things, possible tw idk anyways so i have severe attachment issues. i am severely attached to my cat and hate leaving the house and not being with him. i have severe anxiety and everytime i leave the house i want to be back home with louie. if i ever drink i miss louie. i don’t miss my exes when i’m drunk. i miss my fucking cat???? 99% of time i drink i’m at home and my cat will be in the other room. i cry about missing my cat. i can’t sleep well without him sleeping next to me. it doesn’t ruin my life necessarily. but maybe it does idk it just bothers me a lot