u/hugebagel

I’m a high school teacher and first time mother of twins. I’m taking the rest of this year off, but I’m really nervous about going back to teaching in the fall.

I’m considering asking my employer about teaching 0.6 or 0.8 FTE next year (teaching 3 or 4 classes instead of 5). I would want to do it for just one year (probably), though I’m aware my full-time job wouldn’t be guaranteed for the next year. I’m also aware that it will still feel like a full-time job since I’m already so overworked, but it’s got to be at least a little easier, right? Have any of you switched to part-time after having kids, and in your opinion, was it worth it in spite of the pay cut?

I’m feeling really demoralized about breastfeeding. My 9 week old twins barely take any milk.

For context, we are combo feeding. During the day, one twin bfs and the other gets a bottle, alternating feeds (husband and I are both on leave thankfully). Sometimes the baby who breastfeeds also takes a smaller bottle after. The bottles are pumped milk or formula. I pump after most feeds, 6ish times per 24 hrs. At night we just do bottles and I pump once at 3am.

I have been seeing a lactation consultant and doing weighted feeds. The first time I went, I think I bf’ed both babies one at a time and each took 2oz. Second time I did a weighted feed at a support group, I just bf’ed twin B and he took 2oz. Third time, I tried tandem feeding and they each took only 1oz! Fourth time, I tried with only twin B again to see if it improved over the past month, and he only took 1oz after 35 mins! The leader of the group said I could stay after and feed him more since he was probably still hungry, so I did, and I weighed him again, and he actually took 2 more oz, so 3 total, but it took 75 minutes!

When bottle feeding, they will both take 4-7 oz.

The lactation consultant said there is nothing wrong with my position, latch, etc. Basically, they just get really sleepy at the breast and even when I try waking them up (tickling their hands and chin, taking off clothes, getting up and changing diaper and trying again, etc) it doesn’t really help. Twin B will often fall asleep and will be fine for a few hours until the next feed, but I know he ate very little and just makes up for it with the next bottle. Twin A is more demanding. He’ll fall asleep and I’ll think we’re done but then 10 minutes later he’s screaming because he’s still hungry so we end up giving him a bottle. Twin A also sometimes struggles at the breast, I think when the milk is coming fast, he thrashes around and turns red and cries and needs to be burped, but then it‘s no better after burping. But that only happens sometimes and other times it’s just the sleepiness issue.

I really hoped it would get better over time as they got stronger. I love bf because of the bonding and I want to still be doing it when my babies are older and more interactive. But how can I justify it when they are only getting 1-2 oz, and I still need to feed the other baby, and pump? It’s exhausting and it feels horrible. I am scared that we ruined the possibility of having a positive bf experienced because we introduced bottles too early, but it was necessary to get them both fed.

Has anyone experienced this, with a singleton or twins, and what did you do? Thank you for reading this and for the support.