u/honeyuronfire

Tms was 100% worth it because it worked better than any meds and treatment I have tried before. That being said, almost a year later I am still not really functionnal, and anxiety still hits me strongly.

Here's what it did for me:

- I not longer need sleeping pills. I follow CBT-I guidelines, and I sleep okay. I'm still tired more often than not but it's an improvement regardless

- My depressive symptoms are much better. I have less SI, more hope and more energy

- I've started new activities, made new friends and reconnected with old ones

- I feel a bit more clarity in general

- I travelled a bit and started projects

Here's what still sucks:

- I have trouble working on most days because of brain fog and tiredness

- I have low energy even when I sleep well, exercice, take some sun

- I don't have much fun or motivation doing the things I'm supposed to love

- My anxiety is almost as intense as before

- I still have some SI (mainly because of the previous points)

I keep going to therapy and I still have hope that I'll one day have a normal, functionnal, happy life. I'm currently undergoing a 3 week maintenance and I'm considering starting ketamine IV therapy eventually. Thank you for reading me, I hope you get all the peace you deserve

I have what can be called treatment resistant depression and anxiety. I have tried multiple therapies, neurofeedback, 3 different antidepressants, rtms, weed (it turned into an addiction and I had to stop), lots of meditation, CBT-I and many other things.

RTMS and my current counsellor helped with depression (yay!) but I'm still very anxious. On many days I can't focus enough to work and I get constantly hit with waves of stress and anguish. I have many dreams for my life but I can't accomplish most of them and I still live at home at 26.

I didn't want to try ketamine because of the potential for addiction, but my clinic offers IV treatments on site which seems safer. It's also fully covered where I live, so I figured, why not? I still have hope that I'll find something that'll allow me to finally flourish and thrive, and maybe it'll be it.

Anyway, I'm not sure why I'm posting here, maybe I just wanted to share with people who might understand, and maybe get some hope. Thank you for reading!