I'm a 50f married to my 55m husband for 31 years. He has Multiple Sclerosis. I'm his primary caregiver. He's doing ok right now as far as taking care of himself, but the mobility is rough. Some days he can barely stand up. He uses a walker and a ZEEN we have to try and build up muscles. We have two grown kids.
All of that to say we are supposed to be getting ready for retirement and enjoying life. We should be traveling and dining out. Going to Concerts. I'm so jealous, and happy for my friends, but it hurts to see their European travel photos and cruise photos. Some have second homes.......
Here we are struggling to pay the bills in our tiny house and right now I can afford to retire at lunchtime the day I die.
I know so many people have it way harder and I feel guilty for being jealous. Am I a horrible human? I adore my husband and could never really tell him this. I feel guilty even trying this out.