u/growsonwalls

People vs. Ilya Rozanov

In the case against defendant Ilya Rozanov.

Defendant claims "never in life have I blushed. Russians do not do this." The Prosecution presents evidence refuting this blatant attempt at perjury.

Which picture is going to be Exhibit A of defendant's perjury?

Various products are plugged throughout HR. Which was your MVPP (Most Valuable Product Placement)?

1. The Nike and No Bull shoes they're rocking in the famous gym scene
2. Sherwood hockey sticks
3. The various Adidas shirts, shorts, shoes and track pants Ilya rocks throughout the series. Personally this shirt is my favorite.
4. Scott's skintight Under Armour shirts
5. Dueling sodas: Coke and Ginger Ale. This reminds me of my parents: my mom is Shane with the ginger ale, my dad is Ilya with the cokes
6. Ilya's $500 Rick Owens sweats
7. Corona beer
8. Gym shark track pants (and more Adidas)
9. Shane's Range Rover
10. Bauer helmets
11. CCM hockey gear
12. Ray-Ban sunglasses
13. The Cheetos snacks Shane's stockpiled for Ilya knowing his toddler taste in food

I can only say that I may or may not have gotten Adidas track pants and soccer sneakers bc of HR ... The Adidas Tiro track pants slap because of the zipped up pockets.

When do you think it turned from “I can quit, I just don’t want to” to “I can’t quit even if I want to?” Bc I feel like they started at #1 and both ended at #2 but maybe not at the same time?

Feel like Ilya turned to #2 sometime in the montage. He never seemed to want to do anything other than stare at his phone. Shane turned to #2 maybe after Club Disaster? The massive system failure gave him a hint.

More Olympics: the male characters employ a variety of cruising methods in this series. If this were the Olympics, who takes home the gold, silver and bronze?

Medal contenders:

1. Ilya - does gym, shower and locker room cruising. The finger lifting trick to gage interest. Methods rely on confidence, timing, also sussing out interest quickly. Oh, and hotness. Respect to him for learning classic cruising techniques so quickly.
2. Scott - shows up to the same place over and over again to scope out interest from the hot barista. Makes sure he always shows up in skintight Under Armour shirts. Also purposely takes dude to a restaurant that's too crowded to speed up the reaction.
3. Shane - not a cruiser in general, but staring at someone's boner in the shower while his own flag is at half mast is pretty classic as well. And he nabbed a 10/10 who became a life partner so ...
4. Random Hot Bartender - cruising on the job. Making eyes at Shane was again basic cruising technique.
5. Miles - cruising with a method that I (a straight female) am familiar with. I've gone to gay bars and clubs in NYC, and checking out guys at the bar and pointing to someplace and also grinding with guys on the dance floor is like ... basic but effective. Respect for him using such classic techniques too.
6. Sasha - looking good, using plenty of snow.
7. Kip - more cruising on the job. Being really hot helps.

Personally I'd give:

🥇Ilya

🥈Miles

🥉Scott

So some of the characters of HR seem to have poor gaydar. Shane despite being gay doesn't seem that great at clocking others. Shane and Ilya's teammates also aren't that great. But others have exceptional gaydar.

The medal contenders for best gaydar go to:

1. Rose - pegs Shane as gay after two bad sex sessions
2. Ilya - starts cruising Shane after spending a few minutes with him in a gym
3. Miles - sees Ilya at the club and instantly cruises him. Also gets into Shane's space QUICKLY.
4. Svetlana - have to wake up pretty early in the morning to fool her.
5. Scott - even though it's a debate about how much he actually knew about 1221, this pointed barb certainly sets off Shane.
6. Maria - GIRL.
7. Random hot bartender - makes eyes at Shane after ... a few seconds
8. Shane's parents - "Swedish princess? Really?" Bwahaha.
9. Alexei - it's kind of unclear, but some of his constant threats to Ilya do seem homophobic and coded.

So who's getting on the podium? Who is taking the gold?

This is incredibly low stakes, but here goes: are you guys more into the super-tight workout clothes favored by Scott or the more loose-fitting clothes usually worn by Shane/Ilya?

The only time Shane and Ilya wear the tight clothes is in their initial encounter in the gym. After that they usually wear the loose-fitting sweats/track pants, although I like that tight Adidas t-shirt on Ilya while he's on the treadmill.

Slides 1-5 are tight-fitting, Slides 6-11 are the more loose-fitting workout gear.

I oddly prefer the loose-fitting looks. Think they're more flattering.