u/ghaspot

I’m a final year student (undergraduate), with just a few months left before graduation and now I just have to finish my thesis. The problem is, I am having a very hard time focusing and actually doing it. I keep procrastinating and telling myself I’ll do it later but now I only have 2 months left and I am freaking out since I feel like I am not even halfway finished (I’m an engineering student so it takes time to design something, order components, build the thing, and test if it even works or I have to redo the thing again).

I have always been a procrastinator since I can remember and my grades have been good so I didn’t really see it as a problem until now, I genuinely am afraid that my results will not be good and it will bring my entire grade down. I am also kinda a perfectionist so I feel like I need the best result and since I feel like this thesis is so hard I keep delaying it cause I’m afraid I’ll do bad on it, it’s worth 6 credits and failing it means I won’t graduate.

I really don’t like this major, the only reason I stayed was because of my grades and it’s too late now to switch majors, so my grades need to be perfect… It’s the only thing I feel like I achieved during this study program.

Since my progress have been delayed as from the beginning (I wasted 2 months already), I keep thinking if I delay it more and do this or that tomorrow when I have the motivation, I can do it better but I always just end up not doing it at all. Now when the deadline is getting near I am afraid to even continue since I feel like I’m too late already…

It’s not like I have 0 progress, it’s just like I only spend very little time on it and keep making a list of what to do and just not doing the to-do list. I also did have meetings with my advisor but it has been 2 weeks from my last meeting since I keep avoiding this topic (I was supposed to have a meeting with him 2 weeks ago to submit the final design of my thing but I keep delaying it since I just can’t get myself to finalize the thing).

Since it’s a hard project, I keep thinking I don’t understand it enough to actually WORK on it and just keep studying it, and the more I study the topic the more problems I find and it’s even harder to continue. So now I’m just struggling to get my pace back, stuck with countless problems that I overanalyzed and to-do lists that I’m trying to bring myself to do.

Sorry for the long rant, I just hope by writing everything out I can finally start taking accountability and start doing what I need to do.