How do I find motivation?
This post will be lengthy with this question being asked again at the end but i feel it necessary to explain my mindset.
First off, I am 26. Growing up, I felt alot of pressure to become great. Primarily from family but also teachers and friends who all looked up to me. Great grades through school. I have obtained a 2 year degree in business from community college but couldn't afford anything more at the time. But now I feel that I am failing at life.
I pride myself in being self-aware. I know my flaws. I see things from other's perspectives. I just want to be the best person I can be, to understand life and humanity, to know my purpose, and to have a family. I crave knowledge. But I haven't done anything with my knowledge. I know what I should do and just do not have the motivation to do it.
I feel stuck by society. I'll get to me in a second because I know I am the primary person to blame for my situation in my lack of action. BUT, the most I have ever been paid for a job is $16 USD per hour. I have never had a job I could live on my own money with. I still live with my family. Nothing against them, but I desire my own place. Recently unemployed and after 50+ applications out I have received zero calls back. So I am demotivated by society. Prices rising out of control I feel hopeless in my bed.
However, I also recently passed insurance agent tests and now I must study for a 3rd test and I cannot for the life of me find the determination and motivation to do it. I don't know what it is but I find it so pointless to study and pass another test. I'm just so demotivated by my life. I've left out other things holding me down but to sum it up I'm an overthinker.
How do i find motivation to get to studying to pass a test and to get a job (again, after having tried over 50 times and not being called back). It feels like nobody wants to hire. But I'm not trying to "poor me" my way outta this. I know I need to take control. What can I do to work on my mindset and motivation to help me?