Stuck on 4:30am Feed – Is the Dream Feed the Problem? Should we Ferber?
Hi everyone — looking for advice on dropping an early morning feed and early morning wake.
My baby is 17+ weeks and overall a pretty good sleeper. She goes down independently at bedtime and for most naps (though she often falls asleep while finishing her bottle before bed). We’ve been doing a dream feed around 9-10pm.
The issue is she consistently wakes around 4/4:30 am to eat, and I’d really like to drop that feed, but it’s been tough.
When she wakes, it usually starts as soft crying and then ramps up. We wait 5–10 minutes before going in, but she’s not the type of baby who will settle herself at that time of night — she really needs the bottle to go back down.
I’ve tried reducing the ounces at that feed, and while that’s helped her take more during the day, it hasn’t eliminated the wake/feed. She also gets angry if she doesn’t get her standard 4 oz vs the reduced 3.5, 3, 2.5, etc. She’s also waking for the day around 6:15am instead of the ideal 7:00.
I’m trying to figure out the best approach:
- Has anyone successfully dropped the early morning feed while keeping a dream feed?
- Did the dream feed actually contribute to that early wake for you?
- If you dropped or reduced the dream feed, did your baby start waking earlier (like 2–3am) and how did you deal with that?
- Is it better to gradually wean the 4:30 feed or adjust the dream feed first?
- Should we cut cold turkey and just Ferber?
I know every baby is different, but my son was sleeping 7–7 at this age after doing Ferber (he was smaller and drank less), so I’m a bit stuck on whether this is something I should approach with sleep training or if it’s still genuinely hunger. I’m also working full time and have my kids solo a lot due to my husbands career, so I need to prioritize my sleep and mental health for the kids sake.
Would love to hear what worked for others around this age.