u/fjrewalkwithme

For context: I tend to be very reserved with my emotions, in fact, I never speak up about them until I reach the very rock bottom and become a mess. My vibe lately has been a “I just want to feel something”-type of recklessness which has led to impulsive decisions lmao. Rationalizing emotion doesn’t get you far!

I stick to my principles profoundly and it deeply bothers me when people who are supposed to be my friends don’t respect it. I remain unshaken in terms of my mindset but it does fuck me up to know there’s a misconception or negative perception of what I’m about. Always been like that. My friend group has been very rude and, I suspect, viewing me as lesser-than for months now for not keeping up with their lifestyle (partying, romantic/sexual relationships, etc. — shit I’ve been “late” to in life) and disapproving of vain shit they insist on, basically. (Their lack of responsibility, how dishonest they can be with their intentions, sheep-mentality… + the feminist in me can’t help but die a little inside every time their worship-ish view of attractive men comes up). Anyways, it’s been a challenge for me to bring my deep resentment towards them without coming off as hysterical (blow to my ego), I want a proper discussion! I have the receipts to do so.

Had to go through a very embarrassing and vulnerable situation to realize I have to man up and simply face it: I have to talk about my emotions with other people, it is necessary.

I’m currently getting more into astrology trying to figure out what it says about me and how I can navigate this chaotic time in my life. Hope somebody can help! I’m looking answers like crazy everywhere: within myself, within others, in books, movies… can’t help but overthink.