u/filmfoto

When do you accept that things are better, but aren’t exactly where you want them to be? And maybe… That’s going to have to be enough?

I’m currently one month post a course of long-term steroids

I’m taking Nasofan daily, alongside fluticasone drops.

The general status is
- have some minor blocking which tends to alleviate if I take my medication (but is a daily feeling, switching between nostrils)
- have almost complete smell loss unless it’s a strong perfume
- I’m unsure if I’m ever gonna be able to have more than a single drink of alcohol ever again due to inflammation

I’m okay with how the blocking symptoms are now – but I’m aware if I do ever miss medication it is instantly worse – which is my worry

The smell loss is so painful and I’m not sure whether to push and see if I can get at least somewhat better – or just accept that this is what it is.

My ENT requested a CT scan but I haven’t seen it and I may request it so that I can have a look at how things were in the middle of my steroid course

I’m coming to terms that if I want even a sliver of an unblocked nose, I’m going to have to be strict with myself alongside the medication.

I recently finished a long-term steroid course and have been trying to mitigate the return of my blocked nose + smell loss.

I realise that alcohol is a massive trigger for me and I’ve been trying to broach the topic of being sober with my friends and my partner but I keep getting similar responses from my friends

Aka

“Live a little!”
“You need to treat yourself!”

Most shockingly, I’ve had a friend who also has a chronic illness tell me “us girls was chronic illness, we need to find treats for ourselves and not restrict ourselves because we have such a hard time already” - bear in mind she does not have nasal polyps she has a completely different issue

Then with my partner, I was literally hung over from my friend‘s birthday party where I allowed myself to drink, a party he knew was happening and he knew it was a one off for me

The next day hung over he buys me a cider

I can only assume he bought it because he wanted a beer because I’ve never drank cider even when I do drink alcohol

I initially wanted to just limit my alcohol intake, but considering the fact that no one can respect my boundaries when I say no, I might just have to cut it out completely and be entirely sober for them to respect that line

The next day after the cider, I was crying because I could feel that my nose was blocking up and I had smell loss and when I told my partner, he couldn’t understand why it was so upset that I was losing my smell again

I am honestly starting to hate the people around me because of their lack of compassion towards nasal polyps in general. These are people I LOVE and i'm finding myself in search of new friends bc they can't conceptualise the change

I've only just realised I might be one of the younguns here, I'm sitting at 23, first developing polyps at the start of my second year of university, must have been about 19/20.

It feels hard to track how this really started. I had a drunken and cold winter night at a party for my favourite lecturer leaving the university, I remember waking up the next day with such a sore throat. A lung infection that seemed to spread to a nasal infection, a burst of new adult asthma and I was on steroids for that so polyps weren't bothering me and sat in the rear view.

Spent the rest of my university days drinking at parties and pubs as one does. Now I'm getting into normal work life and can't smell burning batteries, couldn't walk up stairs without breathlessness from simple lack of airflow and hating the heaving of breathing from my mouth.

Now settling into the 10000th round of new medication testing and finally having an ENT. Alcohol is my biggest trigger, second comes general coldness and third seems to be lack of sleep

I feel like the battle never ends and I'm wondering how anyone does it and is fully offline. I have waves when things are good. I'm great at being no screens with other people around but as soon as i'm to myself something switches.

Today I spent the whole day in bed scrolling, watching netflix etc - doing absolutely nothing apart from a morning dog walk.

I know there might have been some external factors. A lovely weekend ending, a lot of online admin coming up this week, a messy room and just deciding to pawn it off on tomorrow but I'm so disappointed in myself. Was feeling stressed, sad and scared and it's only the exact same if not worse.

I'm in between a big career shift so I can blame that too but there never is a real excuse is there, it's just THERE and convenient

This, I suppose is more of a general question but I'm most active in this reddit community so it makes sense to put here

Why do people have merch shelves?

Maybe this is just because I don't spend as much as the people that do have those shelves but why would you pay money for something to just sit and collect dust? I really don't get it?

I'm a really maximalist person too, just looking around my room now, I have : lanterns, jewellery boxes, seashells, figurines all on display but i can't imagine having a cubby hole with it all concentrated in one area... like for what? I have signed posters on the wall where I can actually enjoy them, I wear tour merch from other artists etc, the jewellery boxes get used, the lanterns get lit etc

I guess this is also less of a question but more so a discussion on wealth and how it manifests in these display cases that will unfortunately, either collect dust forever or be later resold as "display item only never used"