TFMR Next Week and BIL asked if they could take my baby shower
I just found out on Monday at my anatomy scan that my baby has severe complex birth defects that will likely be fatal after birth. This was a planned and much wanted pregnancy and my husband and I are distraught. We live in a state that doesn’t allow TFMR so I have to travel as well.
We found out my husband’s brother and his wife are expecting. I’m happy for them, I helped his wife learn how to track her cycles and gave her a ton of information. When telling his brother what was going on, he said, “since I assume there won’t be a shower in July, can wife have the baby shower? Wife isn’t close to her family.” This baby shower was being thrown by my mother with MY family.
The next night, after I had spent the entire day coordinating care out of state, BIL and SIL loop me into a group chat with a photo of their pregnancy app at 4wks pregnant, cracking jokes about how silly the embryo looks at this point. I let them know this was insensitive and only got an apology from BIL.
Needless to say I am heartbroken not only by my loss but by their insensitivity. My procedure is scheduled for next week out of state, but these are people in the family I thought were better than this. I’m so upset that I have to terminate this pregnancy, I wanted this baby so badly.
How have you all dealt with insensitive family members?