need help
i just feel numb, nothing feels real it just feels like im just watching someone living and its all going wrong, i dont have anyone to talk to or be with and i just feel like im just not as good as anybody needs and i just feel like constantly getting pushed away, people just fake promise and dont take me seriously and think that i dont care but i truly care about everything but i just cant show that i do , i even care so much to the point i get attached
to people and when they leave or push me away i feel betrayed but i remember that they didnt do anything wrong but its just that why did they do that? i just carry this fear of what people think of me and even when they tell me i just think their lying and most of the time this was proven to be true.
i have a lot of stuff on my mind to the point i just get really tired from thinking not only mentally but also physically, i also struggle with porn addiction which literally killing me i just feel so dizzy and when i lay down i feel so dizzy to the point i fall and i feel my heart beating fast in times it shouldnt like when im lying in bed.
and most importantly i have this feeling in my chest that doenst go away no matter what, its like when i was a kid and i did something wrong and im just scared from my parents, same feeling but this just doesnt go away and it feels heavy(literally) i thought it was like stress or something and they i was told to just inhale and exhale but i swear it doesnt go at all no matter what.