I hate protein now, so tired of eating and drinking and vitamins (vent)
I have a severely limited diet thanks to ARFID. I've been slowly working on expanding my tastes for years but that's almost impossible currently because I have zero appetite. My tolerance for foods I don't love has dropped into the negatives. Even food I used to love makes me gag sometimes now. Eggs were one of my main protein sources as someone who might as well be vegetarian, and dislikes beans and cheese. I get nauseous at the thought of eggs after having a single one a couple weeks ago.
It really makes me sad. I used to love food and enjoy eating. Now it's a chore, I regularly forget, and forcing protein into my diet is so frustrating. I'm sick of it. I never fussed so much about protein before this surgery and I was doing okay. Fat, but only 100lbs overweight. I could have sucked it up at some point and made the lifestyle changes without these goddamn vitamins and 3 mouthfuls of food for one meal and tiny sips of water all day every day. I had deep regret almost immediately after the surgery and the realization has set in that I wasn't prepared enough at all. They had me watch a 7 minute long video about the risks, my surgeon told me it's a much lower risk of complications than if I were to just get the hernia repair on its own and that his family member who got it can eat even more than him during a meal. I went in thinking it's not a drastic lifestyle change.
Food is everywhere. I'm starting to hate food! I want to stop hearing about it because it makes me so sad! Like seeing a post about if lays or ruffles chips are better and that lays are better for a sandwich. The realization that I'll never even be able to eat a whole fucking sandwich again. I don't like leftovers and meal prep or slow cookers and ricotta bakes. I think this surgery was the worst decision I've ever made and I'm kind of angry that nobody on my team saw that I was such a horrible fit for it. Sorry this was so long and thanks if you read it all. But I'm not really looking for "it will get better! this surgery is a great decision!" because for some people it's just not and I'm almost certain I'm one of those people.