u/elowt

I miss you. How is it possible to miss someone I never really lost? When you’re with me I feel chosen, like a matter in the world. But when other people are around, I start to feel like I disappear from it. It’s confusing loving someone who feels so close in private, but distant in public, like I have to shrink myself to fit where you are. I still search for you in my thoughts, still wait for you, still hope for you, still feel you in everything. And that’s why it hurts, because you’re not gone, but you don’t feel fully here either.

I went back to you. Even knowing how it ends. Not because I forgot the pain, but because missing you hurt more. I will never forgive myself for choosing you when I knew it would break me. Now I’m stuck in between, loving you too much to walk away, but hurting too much to stay.