u/ellie_noturgirm

When I love 
I love hard.

I text and laugh.
Call and get stuck in a trance.

I love hard.
In the way that

I can't stop thinking about you.
And my days brighten up.

But it happens with every guy.
Just a few meant more to me.

I love hard.
In a selfless way

I don't love them for me.
But because they need it more
.
I love hard.
In large quantities

I love their personality.
I love their looks.

I love the way they sound.
And how they care sometimes

I love hard.
Not in a way I should.

Yet, I'll keep loving hard.
Because I know they need it like I do.

I love hard.
Perhaps I just haven’t loved the right people.

I love hard.
No.

I loved hard.

“It takes two to tango.”
And it takes two to keep a plant alive.
Well, if it’s shared

Yet you don't want to water it first anymore.
Neither do they
“I don’t water dead plants.”

Neither do I.
But I don't want this plant to dry out.
When I know it still has some life to it

But I don’t want to be the only one who waters it.
It's our plant isn't it?
So why aren't we taking care of it?

I am tired of tending the plant.
And waiting for the same.
It isn't dead till I stop too, right?

what if I stop?

This was never about a plant.

“It takes two to tango.”
And it takes two to keep a plant alive.
Well, if it’s shared

Yet you don't want to water it first anymore.
Neither do they
“I don’t water dead plants.”

Neither do I.
But I don't want this plant to dry out.
When I know it still has some life to it

But I don’t want to be the only one who waters it.
It's our plant isn't it?
So why aren't we taking care of it?

I am tired of tending the plant.
And waiting for the same
It isn't dead till I stop too, right?

This was never about a plant.

I want to hit that stage.
And take my bow.

I want to stand up straight.
And feel proud

I want to laugh.
And love those around

I want to feel everything.
And nothing at all

I want to care.
And treat others with respect.

I want to smile.
And know it's real.

I want to comfort others.
And let them know they aren’t alone.

I want to be able to enjoy myself.
And know my next step

I want to do it all.
And yet I'm trapped in this body.
Writing the lines
Feeling it all at the same time

I want to be more forward if it means living my life.

I want to hit that stage.
And take my bow.

I want to stand up straight.
And feel proud

I want to laugh.
And love those around

I want to feel everything.
And nothing at all

I want to care.
And treat others with respect.

I want to smile.
And know it's real.

I want to comfort others.
And let them know they aren’t alone.

I want to be able to enjoy myself.
And know my next step

I want to do it all.
And yet I'm trapped in this body.
Writing the lines
Feeling it all at the same time

I want to be more forward if it means living my life.

I hate this
Not living
Just This

Im selfless until im not
Im kind until its 
not what you want to hear,

I hate this.

I love you more than you could ever know.
I love you like I love cooking breakfast,
For my brother on a Saturday morning.

I love you like the small things that bring me joy.
I love you like I love reading books.
I love you like I love poetry and painting.

Like baking a chocolate cake
I love you like a dog loves its owner.
I love you like the moon loves the sun.

I love you like I love the simple sweet
creamy taste of vanilla ice cream.
I love you like a kid loves their sweets.

I love you like I love McDonalds fries.
I love you like Simon loves Daphne.
I love you like a swan loves their mate.

I love you in a way I can't fully describe.
I love you for the little things that bring me joy and make me who I am.

The more I hate poetry
The more I write it
And I put this deep feeling
Down on paper

The more I hear it
The more I express myself
The more I hear it
The more I go into detail and catch their attention

I hate poetry so much.
That I publish the poems I write
I hate poetry so much.
That its enough to love it in every way

Sometimes it feels
Like a dream I cant escape

Like an echo in a quiet room
Or a feeling that is misunderstood
Like something surreal

Like eating a big meal
Or a late-night show
Drifting off to sleep

Or wide awake texting
It feels like a bright screen.
In a dark empty room

Only thing I’m aware of
Is the emptiness surrounding me

It is a dream I can’t escape
The one I call my everyday.

I love you so much.
That i don't have the words
To describe it

So instead ill say
Your eyes sparkle in a dim room.
Your hair is so nice. 

I can't help but stare from afar.
The way you call my name
Sounds like music to my ears.

Dumb little fights and worries
You speak calmness into existence.
When I’m soft-spoken and quiet

You stop and listen.
You care when it's hard to
And you show you love me.

Every little thing
Brought into existence
I notice things in my everyday life.
That reminds me of you.

So, ya i don't have the words.
To describe my love for you

Just things that remind me of you.

They say “you guys are too young to understand love.”

Yet it's all we understand.
Emotions.

We understand emotions.
Love,hate,pain,comfort
We understand it all.

When someone is upset
Or boundaries aren't met.
We see it, we feel it.

And guess what?
I am tired of feeling.
I feel so much, and it kills me.

I can't stand how I pay attention.
I will try my best to see the good in everyone.
How I still seem to care 

Care for those who inflict pain.
Discomfort, hurt, sorrow on me
And yet I still care.

I do understand love enough to stay during the worst stages and still care.

Love is a fragile concept.
Something so sacred
It's hard to fake

So when I look you in the eyes.
As I say “I love you.”
I mean it all the way.

I love looking at you as you play games.
And listen to your voice. 
Normal every day things in the simplest ways

I love seeing your face.
And how you smile at the things I say
I love saying “I love you” when I can.

It's dumb and small.
Yet carries such meaning.
My heart carries love and pain.

I hope to see you every day.
As the day fades and night awakes
I hope to hear your voice in my dreams.

Your laugh, caring, joy, and grace
And comfort with love and all
A peace so sacred that I love

Some say I love to often.
Or my standards are low

But for once, I feel like if I reach for the stars, you will be there.
My Star above them all.

I used to think the words
“I love you.”

Meant everything
Now I know they don't.
I mean you can look me in the eyes.

And let your mouth run lies.
Yet you can't seem to move on.
From shit that could do harm,

I always said “I wont leave first I promise.”
And look at that, I kept my word.
Just you didn't and that hurt.

Stupid things I fell for
Lies, tricks, broken promises
So when I get better

You leave quicker.
And that hurts.

Not the fact I’m different now
Or that I found someone
who means the world to me

I am following my dreams.
A strong new community,

I used to think the words
“I love you.”

Meant everything
And they do just not with you

And that's okay because I'm happy today.
At least when he says it he means it.

I hate who I've become.
I mean it.

All they do is talk.
“You used to be so sweet.”
“Where did you get this attitude?”

I don't know what you mean.
I'm too sweet and friendly.
It gives off the wrong vibe.

I talk too much all the time.
So why can't anyone see
I'm just trying to be me.

I don't mean to get mad.
Or slam the door,

I don't mean to run off.
And be rude
I don't mean to have an attitude.

I don't know why I'm like this.
I'm so angry all the time.
And i don’t know why.

I miss when life was easy.
When I was happy
When I was the same old kid at 7 looking at my family like angels.

If I could go back
I would.

Hey little me,
I see you scraped your knee again.
It's okay to have a bad day.

You still have years to go.
You are only seven now.
Wait? You’re ten now!!

No, he doesn't hate you, lol.
Just don't get too attached to her.
Right now I'm 14!

Still very young indeed
But I'm still learning so much.
Don't go looking for love in others.

Trust me.
It doesn't end well and…
The guys in this generation are not the same.

Just know you are amazing and loved.
Just remember you are loved and beautiful no matter what.

I want to find love.
I mean it.
I really want it.

Yet here I am,
Sitting all alone.
quietly late at night.

watching romance movies.
I mean, you should see me.
How did Belly get Conrad and Jeremiah,

AND I STILL CANT GET A SINGLE GUY.
Well, at least one that sticks.
They either cheat,lie,sneak, or all the above.

So now I wait.

Still alone on my little bench
Swinging my legs

Maybe love isn't something unreal.
Just so surreal
Like a dream

I hope to get my dream ending
As I wait on my bench.
Why don't you take that empty seat?