TFMR at 13 weeks after IVF. Medical vs Surgical? Conflicting private CRGH Fertility advice vs NHS Hospital. Help! 💔
Hi everyone! I’m posting here because I am completely broken and overwhelmed. I’m currently 13 weeks pregnant after a long and difficult IVF journey. This is my only way to have a baby, and I’ve already been so "statistically unlucky".
We’ve just had a diagnosis of Trisomy (confirmed via CVS and full spectrum bloods). I now have to navigate a termination, and I’m getting completely conflicting advice from my doctors and I don’t know who to trust.
Fertility Doctor:
My fertility consultant at CRGH is strongly pushing for a medical abortion. They are worried that a surgical (D&E) procedure at 13 weeks carries a risk of scarring the uterine lining (Asherman’s) or damaging the cervix, which would mean needing a stitch (cerclage) in any future IVF pregnancies. They want to protect the "environment" for my future transfers at all costs.
NHS hospital:
However, the NHS hospital says most people go surgical at this stage because it’s quicker and more definitive.
My Dilemma:
1. The Mental Aspect: I feel like surgical would be much better for me mentally. I want it to be "one and done" so I can have closure and start to heal. I’m petrified of the "mini-labor" at 13 weeks and having to be "present" for the physical process of the medical route.
2. The Timeline: I know that medical takes significantly longer. I’m told I could be bleeding for up to 4 weeks, and there is a 10% risk of retained tissue which would delay my next IVF cycle even longer. I want to reset my hCG and get back to IVF ASAP.
3. The Risk: Despite the mental benefits of surgery, I am terrified of being that "unlucky 1%" who ends up with a damaged cervix or a perforated uterus, especially since my IVF doctor is so against it.
I want the quickest but safest route back to IVF. I can't bear the thought of "breaking" my uterus and ruining my only chance at a baby, but I also don't know if I can cope with the long, drawn-out trauma of the medical route.
Has anyone else been through this with CRGH or another IVF clinic?
• Did you go medical or surgical at 13 weeks?
• Did you find surgery better for your mental health, or was the risk of scarring too high?
• How long did it take for your hCG to return to normal so you could go again?
• If you went surgical, did it actually affect your next transfer or pregnancy?
I feel like I’m choosing between my mental sanity and my future fertility. Any advice or experiences and advice would be so appreciated ♥️