The more I think about it, the more confused I get.
At one point in my life, I identified as demiro/demisex. I was a firm believer that I had to be close/best friends with someone before knowing if I wanted to be with them or not. I never understood the concept of simply finding someone attractive and then wanting to be their partner. Like, you don’t even know them! I guess that’s the point of dates where you go out together to know the person first before determining if you want them as your romantic partner, but I still don’t really get it…
And when I actually took the time to think about the whole “friends to lovers” thing, I was even more confused! You are friends with someone then one day you realize that you want to be more than friends with them and then boom, you two are dating. How does that shift…work? Does the air around you two just feel more “romantic”? Won’t the dates just feel like regular hang outs. The changes I usually see when it comes to two people becoming lovers are hand-holding, pet names, kissing and cuddling, but you can do that with a friend if you two are really, really close (except the pet names and kissing I guess).
Whenever I thought about the possibility of dating a friend, I would go, ”Nah, besides nothing would really change.” I remember back in elementary where I told my guy friend that I liked him and he agreed to be my boyfriend. After that…nothing. I just thought, “Wow he’s my boyfriend now.” When my friends would bring up the things we’d have to do together as a couple though, I didn’t really wanna do them. Even when he moved schools, I didn’t feel devastated that my “boyfriend“ was gone, I was like “dang he’s gone…he was such a cool guy“.
You would think that someone like me, who has shipped characters together and with myself for almost all of my life, would know a thing or two about romance and stuff but I still haven’t got a clue.😭 (Maybe that’s why I go for fanfics tagged “established relationship“.) Does anyone else relate?