Lost my senior boy (14)
I posted about my sweet boy, Pig, a few months ago in anticipation of his passing. I was struggling to think of what happens to him when his time comes, and unfortunately that happened this past Saturday.
Pig was my soul cat, my everything, my whole entire world. He was sick with heart disease and I presume his kidneys were failing based on changes to his frequency of using the litter box. He was diagnosed in April/May of last year with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure and this past year since his diagnosis has been incredibly hard on me and him. He unfortunately had a terrible breathing episode on Saturday and I decided it was his time because I knew he was not going to come back from his episode.
I am really struggling with my grief and I feel a little insane because of it. Pig was my whole entire world. I got him when he was around 14 weeks old and had him until his passing at 14 years and 7 months. I got him shortly after I turned 20 so we grew up together. He was my constant for every adult milestone thus far: break-ups, a lot of moves, graduating college, everything. When he died on Saturday a part of me died too and I know that I will never be the same.
The grief comes in waves. I suspect having a year to prepare kind of worked in my favor but I sometimes feel like it never happened. Like Pig wasn’t real and that he never lived in my apartment with me, or that I made up just how much I love for him. I look at photos and videos and I feel… nothing. Like they’re fake photos and fake memories. I know in my gut those things are not true, but it’s making me more stressed to have these thoughts and feelings. I feel like I’ve already forgotten my boy and he’s only been gone 3 and a half days. I have forgotten what he felt like. Has anyone else dealt with this? Please tell me this is normal and that I will remember my baby.
Link to the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/seniorkitties/s/wTEgO5q9Wn