he’s gone
we, of course, knew it was terminal. but i thought we had more time, i thought we had at least until the end of the year. he got his diagnosis december 15th 2025. but he’s already gone. after being intubated, he was in coma for 2 days, and now….he’s just..gone. i have his birthday presents, wrapped up and ready to go, but..he’s not here. what do i do with these gifts? i didn’t get to say the goodbye i wanted to say. one of our last conversations was him being terrified of being trapped in his body, without any way to communicate with the outside world. and i am, truly, relieved that he doesn’t have to suffer through his body being an uncontrollable prison. but selfishly, i wish he were still here.
i don’t know anything anymore. i use to have such a strong faith in God, i use to find such solace in Him. i no longer believe in anything.
i am broken beyond repair. i lost my soul mate, my best friend, the person who completes me…and i don’t know how to continue on living..