u/d_zone_28

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Most men who get divorced say the same thing when you ask them about the early days.

"We just clicked."

That's it. That's the whole foundation they built a life on.

I'm not being cruel here. I understand the feeling. Early attraction is neurologically similar to cocaine use. Your brain is literally impaired. You're not meeting a person, you're meeting a highlight reel performed by someone who also wants to impress you.

And yes, some people marry fast and stay together forever. That's real. I'm not pretending those couples don't exist.

But here's what nobody talks about honestly.

You don't know someone's relationship with money until the first financial crisis. You don't know their anger until they're genuinely humiliated. You don't know their character until they can hurt you and nobody would find out.

Two years of dating barely scratches that surface. Six months definitely doesn't.

The research on marital satisfaction consistently shows that couples who dated longer before marriage report higher stability. Not happiness necessarily. Stability. Because they'd already survived something real together before signing legal documents.

The mechanism is simple. Stress reveals people. Comfort conceals them. Most courtships are almost entirely comfort.

What worries me isn't the divorce rate. Divorce is sometimes correct. What worries me is the kids caught between two people who were essentially strangers when they made permanent decisions.

Nobody wants to hear that romantic urgency might be a warning sign rather than a green light.

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