u/coolseabreezes

So, I am short on rent. No money for food. Sat in Morrisons cafe after putting a £6 meal on my credit card (bad choice I know when I'm already in so much debt but wanted to kill myself this morning so small mercies)

I rang up and asked for a Universal Credit advance this morning and was offered £12. Im not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I almost laughed at how absurdly low it was. Means some money to eat at least but I'm thinking about all my debt, my rent, trying to find a job. Ive had to cancel job interviews and drop out of a therapy course because I cant afford a bus ticket.

And all the lurkers here who will mass downvote because they hate poor people or think we're scroungers, you have no idea how it feels to have hunger pains and have to sell your belongings just to scrape together enough for rent and a pack of tortilla chips to eat for dinner.

I have contacted various local authorities. I am autistic, bipolar and depressed so its been incredibly hard. It has given me perspective though and makes me really want to work in the third sector next and use the experiences Ive gone through to help others. No one should have to go through this.

Does anyone have any advice? Currently working with a charity housing officer, looking for house shares to keep rent down and of course looking for a job. Already used 1 of the 3 a year food bank vouchers so trying to use then strategically.

Hey there, I have been DMing Curse of Strahd for a few months and having fun, but I think to prevent burnout I also want a chance to play as a player and learn more about the game from a player's perspective. I am a BG3 player as well, for better or for worse lol. I am interested in Forgotten Realms, or homebrew that allows FR elements (or like CoS, where players can be from anywhere but mine could be from FR) I like prewritten modules, but I'm also open to a homebrew setting as well. I am especially interested in CoS or Wild Beyond the Witchlight and other Wizard of the Coast prewritten modules.

Here are some of the character ideas I've had bouncing around in my head. I'm open to working with the DM to adapt these to the game's setting, or create a new character if none of them fit the particular game/setting:

Cas Fallows

Changeling Bard - Non-binary/genderfluid (AFAB)

Background: Entertainer

Chaotic Good

Dad was a human farmer, mum was a changeling who wanted a normal life. Mum taught Cas and her older sister, Lis, to be proud of themselves and never hide who they are - sisters took two very different directions in life. Lis became a cleric of Cyric, and Cas became an entertainer with a travelling circus.

Pale milky white skin and solid white eyes, black shoulder length bob and bangs, jester outfit

Laura Laurel

Human (Oath of Glory) sworn to Shaundakul

Background: City Watch/soldier

Chaotic Neutral

Laura was a party girl who went drinking in the rough parts of town and often caused drunken mischief and fights. Born to a noblewoman and a merchant, to straighten her out her father got her a job in the City Watch however tales of heroes and great feats from soldiers and lowborn peasants alike made her long for treasure, renown and glory. She swore an oath to Shaundakul and set out to far off lands seeking adventure.

Brown eyes, brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, sly look in her eye

Cyrax the Mad

Githzerai Aberrant Mind Sorcerer

Background: Scribe

Chaotic Neutral

Cyrax left Limbo to study the Material Plane. Cyrax found himself in the Underdark studying plants and fauna. There, he was captured by mind flayers and implanted with a tadpole. In an attempt to remove it, Cyrax dug out his own eye (and part of his brain) essentially lobotomising himself. Ceremorphosis was halted, but Cyrax had changed - where he had been restrained, thoughtful and logical, he was now murderous, mad and imbued with new psionic abilities.

Short purple hair and purple eyes, pale bluish skin (looks like cyanosis) sharp canines, wiry and emaciated sort of build

Leo of the Morningpaw

Tabaxi Cleric of Lathander

Neutral/lawful Good

Background: Urchin

Leo, who looks like a fat orange and white tabby cat, was a chef in the city and loved nothing more than lounging in a sunbeam on his days off. He became a follower of Lathander after a voice woke him up one day saying, “Go to the river.” There, he found a bag of almost drowned kittens on the riverbank. The voice was, of course, Lathander. Leo is now the proud Dad to five kittens.

Anthropomorphic cat, chunky, dressed in a gold hooded cloak and a white shirt and breeches

So its a long story, but essentially I'm signed off sick (and unlikely to return) due to bullying and discrimination at work. I am autistic and bipolar. I moved to be closer to my workplace a few months ago (roommate at the time was buying her own place) but now cant afford to live alone on a quarter of my salary. An ACAS case is ongoing and I still get UC and hopefully PIP soon as well as SSP for now, but I am likely to quit or be dismissed soon.

I basically screwed myself over getting into a ton of debt trying to live alone. I was unemployed for much of last year too so racked up some debt.

Now I find myself in a position where I cant afford my property but also cant afford to move, cant afford moving fees and deposits. My credit was already rough but Ive had to apply breathing space to my bank account and credit card which will probably come up in credit checks. Also have no guarantor.

I have been chasing the council as I consider myself vulnerable but they just keep sending me back a generci email offering an affordability check.

I put up adds on Openrent and spare room and keep searching for rooms but even house shares need a guarantor. I have looked into communes but they often want older people (I'm 27)

I know its my own fault for getting into debt but its scary and stressful trying to do all this alone, especially with no family or safety net.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I submitted my How your disability effects you form on 4th March

Got a text on 13th April saying it was with a health professional and that they will contact me if they need to

Since then no contact, no assessment offered

I got an official diagnosis of autism and bipolar recently, so thought I should send it their way, they said just to mail it to DWP freepost and they were still working on my claim

I assume this delay is normal. Does anyone know how long it usually takes to be assessed? I am really struggling at the moment (my life has fallen apart in an almost comical way if I wasn't living it, basically on the verge of homelessness, starving every day) and so far waiting on a care needs assessment from the council and working with the CMHT.

Is it worth getting back in touch or is it too soon to say?

I am facing several severe difficulties/situation at the moment and I just got diagnosed with ADHD too months ago. On waiting list for medication (UK) but can take a while. In the meantime, I'm having a hard time prioritising. My mind keeps dragging me down routes that are farfetched or I wouldn't be suitable for right now, which muddies the waters.

So far, I'm:

• Trying to find a job (after being discriminated against in my old one, struggling to find something that suits autism/adhd/chronic pain, my work coach has said to avoid looking for a "unicorn job"
• Trying to find a new place to live (current flat is expensive but worry about living with others due to past bad experiences and my own bad habits)
• Trying to get out of debt (accounts on hold but defaults are always in the back of my mind)
• Trying to find basic ways to eat and stay alive (been going to foodbanks but can only go 3 times a year, been eating like crap as don't have a fridge and craving junk food)
• Trying to get basics sorted: I have no curtains, dryer, fridge/freezer or wardrobe which makes things even more stressful
• I have accumulated lots of stuff over the years and trying to declutter as it's overwhelming
• Trying to get care needs met - working with doctors to get diagnosis, also waiting on local council to do care needs assessment with the council

What I find myself doing, even though it's unrealistic and a part of me knows that but I can't help getting lost in an impulsive dream:

• Researching moving abroad
• Applying for jobs outside of my city despite having limited funds to relocate
• Applying for competitions
• Spending lots of time fantasy shopping "dream houses"
• Looking at communes to live in
• Have a new idea every week - going to be an apprentice, no going to start my own tarot business

Now I look back I know it's ADHD impulsivity but it can be very hard to challenge that in the moment. I think I am longing for safety and stability

Does anyone have any advice on how to prioritise the immediate needs and leave the more dreamer/longer term stuff for later? Because it feels like I'm expanding useful energy chasing dead ends.

I know this might be unpopular/controversial but I am wondering how you go about getting a diagnosis of C-PTSD and/or BPD. I believe a lot of my symptoms align, including ones I feel too ashamed to mention to doctors. I am currently signed off sick from work and have basically blown up my life over the course of a few months. Ongoing grievance at work for disability discrimination (which did happen, and made mental health so much worse) I'm having such a hard time holding down employment. I am also fighting multiple fires of waiting for PIP, dealing with debt, trying to find a new job while being emotionally unstable, etc.

I just feel like I had such bad mood swings and my life/identity is constantly unstable. I don't know who I am, and I rarely want to live. There is so much I want to do in terms of improving my life, but then the next day I am so depressed I can barely move. I have been diagnosed with autism and combined ADHD and have ongoing chronic pain/fatigue issues but I feel like there is more going on. My head feels like a mess.

Does anyone know how to go about getting a diagnosis? I know BPD can come with stigma but I really need help. I asked a psychiatrist who did ADHD right to choose but they said only autism and adhd can be done through right to choose.

It's safe to say I'm fairly exhausted. I'm fighting fires on multiple fronts.

Right now, I'm:

• Going through an ACAS conciliation process with work, and also have a grievance raised against my manager, signed off sick since the end of March to the end of May
• Don't have money to make rent this month
• As I was working for 6 months and opened my claim during COVID I (assume) I have been hit by a fraud check as the enhanced review team are asking for lots of evidence, but my estate agent is refusing to provide a letter with landlord name/address they are requesting
• My housing is unsuitable, it's full of mould the landlord won't fix up and communal areas are dirty, also can't afford to live alone anymore but struggle to live with others due to autism/emotional problems
• Diagnosed with adhd, autism, bipolar in quick succession this year but I have historically been neglected by any services, so currently waiting months for needs assessment from adult health and social care, and waiting for PIP assessment (4 months now)
• Been told I'm not eligible for a hardship payment/UC advance
• Got rejected from Council Tax Support and Local Welfare Support Scheme for extra money.
• Currently have no fridge, dryer or curtains. Have tried to get Citizens Advice to refer me for grants but they say they can't do it.

Feel like everywhere I go for help I'm just getting rejected or messed around. It's been extremely overwhelming and feel like I am doing a full time job just calling/pestering all these organisations at once. Does anyone have any advice? I now on a waiting list for a housing officer through a charity, working with a debt charity as I am likely to default. But I can't afford basic things like food and rent. I have found UC very impersonal and they are fixated on getting through the Enhanced Review. I regret even trying to work as it feels like I'm being punished for inevitably having to reenter the system. I have no family, so I'll likely be homeless if nothing works out soon. My mental health has been very bad because of all this.

I've been identifying as non-binary for a while. I am afab and plus size so very curvy, but in my head my ideal body type is androgynous. However, I recently got my autism diagnosis and have been listening to podcasts with trans women guests and have been questioning a lot. I bought a binder a few months ago and was a bit disappointed it didn't squish down as much as I thought. As I don't think about it too much day to day I guess I never considered transition, and because I was raised female and experienced a lot of things through a female perspective (like medical misogyny) I was reluctant to give that up.

I'm still uncertain. But I've been reflecting on how I would feel with a male name (I thought something like Adam, to reflect my given name also being biblical, I am non-religious now but I would like something to reflect where I came from) and I got a sudden feeling of lightness - and maybe euphoria. But I have no idea where to go from here. I feel weird about adopting a male name pre-transition. And I feel like people will make fun of me for being the autistic dyed-haired fat stereotype...

Any advice would be appreciated. I am considering talking to my doctor, but I don't know if hormones are for me and I'm sure the NHS has a long waiting list