u/coirropeto_hang

You'll get your house destryed in no time if Unnikrishan from Parakkum Thalika is around

I was too young to understand the plot of Thanmatra when it was in theaters. Having watched it properly for the first time recently, I've realized that while Rameshan Nair is undoubtedly a "family man," and loved the way he joins in the Kichen chors unlike the majority men those days. But he has some serious character flaws as a father, about his parenting:

*The Generational Burden: He carries the weight of a failed dream (becoming an IAS officer) from his own father and passes that exact burden onto Manu. It's a cycle of pressure rather than support.

*Social Isolation: He subtly shuts down Manu's social life. Aside from the early scene with the girl, we never see Manu with friends or classmates. Rameshan seems to be Manu's only "peer," which is unhealthy for a teenager.

*Guilt-Tripping: When Manu spends time with a friend on her birthday, Rameshan guilt-trips him instead of being happy for his son's social development. His disapproval is passive-aggressive and stifling.

*The Devaluation of College Life: He completely disregards the importance of the college experience. He focuses so much on the Civil Services goal that he ignores the personal growth that happens in a regular campus setting. It felt like Manu was being pushed toward distance education just to keep him under Rameshan's thumb.

* Lack of Autonomy: Rameshan never asks Manu what his passions or aptitudes are. Manu wasn't raised; he was "groomed" to fulfill the failed dreams of two previous generations.

*Unintented Gender discrimination: Rameshan is obsessively involved in Manu's education but seems almost indifferent to his daughter's future. It's hard to imagine her receiving even a fraction of the attention or resources Manu got. Manu at her age won't be attended the same.

*Opposition to Extracurriculars: He shows no interest in Manu joining the NCC, Arts, or other peers-based activities. Even when they play games, it's always father vs. son. Manu is never allowed to have a life with his own peers.

* The Obsession with the "Files": Even before the disease fully takes hold, his obsession with the newspaper clippings and articles for Manu is borderline unhealthy. He even insults his wife and daughter, claiming they don't care about Manu's future as much as he does.

This is just personal opinion. I never deny he was better than many parents then. What do you guys feel?