u/christian887

Need advice for what's going on

I F24 and my long term partner M25, have been really struggling with him hearing, seeing or feeling things are going on in our Air bnb we have rented for a few months. One of the first days we got to the house, there was hair in the downstairs shower drain. He wanted to call the police and have the house fingerprinted and checked out, but I felt a bit weird doing that since it is an air bnb, and the rest of the house wasn't cleaned very properly upon arrival. I thought the hair was left behind. Since then, there has been many instances where he thought something was wrong. He noticed the pool sticks again downstairs, not the main level, were out of place. I said that could be from us playing and putting them back correctly, but he says we laid them against the rack and not put them away. He has heard people on the stairs downstairs, heard noises and voices and seen shadows. For the better part of this time, we slept with a bar blocking the downstairs door from opening and thought that maybe because the house isn't really used, there were squatters/people looking for shelter. But recently, he has been feeling like I've been brushing off his concerns, not really listening to him, and I'm not afraid of what might be happening. He also is missing a few items, so someone breaking in and stealing them does seem to be a possibility. He also said that he saw someone outside of the house, walking around. Because of that, he has started to believe I have something to do with the people here or I have people over, mostly guys to cheat on him or do sneaky things. I have (in my eyes) really tried to reassure him that I am not involved in anything, and I could never do that to him. I am being 1000% honest, I have never had anyone over and I have never cheated, talked to anyone behind his back, etc. in the seven years we have been together. It has recently gotten so intense that we are not sleeping at the house, and we cannot stop fighting about this long enough to even clean it to leave.

I am trying to be fair in sharing the viewpoint of my partner, he feels unheard and that he is being brushed off with all the things he's feeling. He is afraid to stay in the house, and put us all in danger. He is also afraid that I am the one who is doing this to him, and he feels played and deceived. When we attempt to get along and clean the house, with him paying attention for our safety, he says that I am looking around sketchy or looking at certain parts of the house and it makes him feel more and more that I am involved and planning to get him set up. My view is that I have tried to be there for him when he was feeling, hearing or seeing things in other houses and before this, but they were usually explained by logical things. Some of the things he has stated are completely untrue, like seeing me look and smile at him through the blinds, or saying that hair products in the house are new when I noticed them when we arrived. I am trying to give logical explanations, not brush off his feelings.

Please help with any advice you have, is it too late to call the people if we check out today? Is this schizophrenia or some other condition? How can I help him feel heard and safe but also prove that I have nothing to do with this?

reddit.com
u/christian887 — 1 day ago
▲ 6 r/SchizoFamilies+1 crossposts

Need opinions/advice for what's going on

I F24 and my long term partner M25, have been really struggling with him hearing, seeing or feeling things are going on in our Air bnb we have rented for a few months. One of the first days we got to the house, there was hair in the downstairs shower drain. He wanted to call the police and have the house fingerprinted and checked out, but I felt a bit weird doing that since it is an air bnb, and the rest of the house wasn't cleaned very properly upon arrival. I thought the hair was left behind. Since then, there has been many instances where he thought something was wrong. He noticed the pool sticks again downstairs, not the main level, were out of place. I said that could be from us playing and putting them back correctly, but he says we laid them against the rack and not put them away. He has heard people on the stairs downstairs, heard noises and voices and seen shadows. For the better part of this time, we slept with a bar blocking the downstairs door from opening and thought that maybe because the house isn't really used, there were squatters/people looking for shelter. But recently, he has been feeling like I've been brushing off his concerns, not really listening to him, and I'm not afraid of what might be happening. He also is missing a few items, so someone breaking in and stealing them does seem to be a possibility. He also said that he saw someone outside of the house, walking around. Because of that, he has started to believe I have something to do with the people here or I have people over, mostly guys to cheat on him or do sneaky things. I have (in my eyes) really tried to reassure him that I am not involved in anything, and I could never do that to him. I am being 1000% honest, I have never had anyone over and I have never cheated, talked to anyone behind his back, etc. in the seven years we have been together. It has recently gotten so intense that we are not sleeping at the house, and we cannot stop fighting about this long enough to even clean it to leave.

I am trying to be fair in sharing the viewpoint of my partner, he feels unheard and that he is being brushed off with all the things he's feeling. He is afraid to stay in the house, and put us all in danger. He is also afraid that I am the one who is doing this to him, and he feels played and deceived. When we attempt to get along and clean the house, with him paying attention for our safety, he says that I am looking around sketchy or looking at certain parts of the house and it makes him feel more and more that I am involved and planning to get him set up. My view is that I have tried to be there for him when he was feeling, hearing or seeing things in other houses and before this, but they were usually explained by logical things. Some of the things he has stated are completely untrue, like seeing me look and smile at him through the blinds, or saying that hair products in the house are new when I noticed them when we arrived. I am trying to give logical explanations, not brush off his feelings.

Please help with any advice you have, is it too late to call the people if we check out today? Is this schizophrenia or some other condition? How can I help him feel heard and safe but also prove that I have nothing to do with this?

reddit.com
u/christian887 — 1 day ago