Michael Jackson's movie and the impact that it left on me
Hey everybody, I made this post for the people who watched Michael's movie (Disclaimer: if you haven't watched it then you will encounter spoilers here, proceed at your own risk xd)
Other than stating the fact that It is one of the best (if not THE best) movie that was ever made throughout this decade, I want to talk about the impact that this movie left on me mentally and emotionally (and I want to hear about yours too!).
I walked in to the cinema not knowing what to expect tbh, my bestfriend was more excited than me as she knew michael's story more, I accompanied her just because, and it was really one of those days where I'm just barely existing and wanted to do something fun, in the first 30 minutes I got a general idea about michael's past, the household he grew up in and how limited and small and helpless he felt infront of his father, that poor kid got his childhood stolen from him, no time to even live it, he was only surviving (the abuse he went through) and he was already living like an adult by the age of 11, and then he grew up, and you can see he still have the same sparkling eyes he had when he was a kid, he grew up to be such a sweetheart, he is kind to humans and even kinder to animals, his sole purpose was to do what he wanted to do and not what his father wanted him to do, you can still see that he is struggling with taking control over his life even when he is famous (poor boy wasn't even able to face his father to tell him that he wanted to have a solo album) but that didn't stop him from continuing to build the live that he wanted to build, even with the little to zero control over his life, he still didn't give up, even with the p*psi accident, he was hurt and broken, he took time to heal in the hospital, and not just physically, but mentally too when he opened his eyes and saw how everybody else who are still fighting for their lives there with him, and he knew that he should be doing more, that this is not the end of his story, that he shouldn't just rot in that bed and give in to everything bad that happened to him and let it consume him, (because what's the point of giving up after coming this far in his life? ) it is understandable (and very normal) that sometimes we're gonna hit rock bottom in our lives, and we might even stumble down the stairs to the BASEMENT of the rock bottom where even that one lightbulb barely even works and somewhere in the first 30 seconds of us being there it's gonna either give up on us or blow up completely and we will be sitting in darkness, not even recognising our surroundings, everything would feel strange and very unfamiliar and very, very dark.
In the first period of time we wouldn't dare move from our spot as it is the only place that feels somewhat safe in that basement, but through time we will grow tired of it, we will start shifting, the air will start feeling heavy and we will get tired and very uncomfortable with the only spot that once felt safe in there and that's when we will get up and start feeling our surroundings, still in complete darkness, we would feel everything by touch and sometimes there will be sharp edges that will hurt us, we will whince with pain but we will continue feeling regardless and it might take a while before we find a useful tool that will help us to break out of that place, we might even struggle to find the stairs and the door as well, or we might ditch both and turn to the window, doesn't matter whichever way we prefer, what matters is the fact that we will use the tools we found along the way to get out of that basement and up to the rock bottom and then we will use the same tools (or even ones that we took with us but didn't use in the first escape) to climb up that rock bottom and we don't have to climb up to the top immediately, we could stop midway, rest a little, reapply ointment to our wounds and just bask in the fact that we no longer in the rock bottom because life is not a race and each one of us have their own journey and their own pace to live with and sometimes just us being here, alive, is more than enough.
Ad break is over, back to Michael, He had an idea in his mind on how he should live his life and he went all in, he understood that he was given a second chance and he knew exactly what to do with it, that little Michael in him survived despite everything he's gone through and now the stage is his to shine, he was a firm believer that he was born to help people with whatever he can (and isn't that the purpose of life itself? I mean without help none of us would've made it this far in life) , all that he wanted was to spread joy and peace through his art, he had so much love in him to give to the world and he wasn't gonna sit around and let anybody kill that love inside him, he was a bundle of joy and he had this unlimited subscription to hope for a better life not just for him but for the world, for children (because he was still a child at heart too), for animals and for earth and that (sadly) is something so rare to find in humans nowadays, it's like an animal on the verge of going extinct, but with the perfect amount of care and the right shelter, we can actually have a chance in helping it to survive and thrive in the right environment.
The impact didn't hit me at first, It needed to marinate for a while, because I (as everybody else) was barely holding on to dear life at some point, the past few months (or even years) were so rough on me, I got to a point where I was stripped of all the feelings human beings can feel, where I had no energy to even get out of bed let alone breathe or eat to survive, I felt so lost and so out of place, it's like I was watching myself from a 3rd pov and having no idea about what I am doing, I was barely existing, barely even interacting with humans, barely even being a human and I still go through it to this day, I'm far away from fully healing, I still feel numb most of the time and I still barely have energy for anything and I probably would still be for a while, because healing is not you snapping your fingers and the next thing you know you are alive again, it's a very slow process that we desperately try to rush sometimes only for us to crash out again because we didn't take our time in processing our feelings and our traumas and all the things that we never dared to speak of before (not even to ourselves).
Michael reminded me of the reason why I chose to remain kind despite everything I've gone through, he reminded me why I still smile to people and to animals even when I was going through the worst years of my life, he also reminded me that as long as you are breathing and your body didn't give up on you, you would have a chance every single day to not give up on yourself and your life, take a break, try again, switch up your whole life, try something new, discover parts in you that you never dared to approach before, find your own path, there are a thousand things to do in this life, there has to be at least ONE THING that you enjoy doing and you want to build your life around it, stick to the things that make you feel alive, stick to the things that make you feel that fire in your chest and makes your fingertips tingle, those are the things that will keep your soul alive, you can start it as a hobby and work your way up from there, the ones who made it are not better than you, because I'm a firm believer that if they made it then you can too, it doesn't need to be on THEIR level, but it needs to be on YOUR level, because as i said this is not a race, each one of us have their own pace in life.
And we must remember to allow ourselves to live a little and to enjoy the things that we love to do and to contribute with actions that make life feel a little more baring and joyful, not only to others (by offering any kind of help, big or small it doesn't matter, because that help that you think of as little could be really big for someone else in that moment, i remember once when i was 12 and i had to go to a bookstore in the city that i live in, i went by myself, did my thing and when i was crossing the streets to go back home, I wasn't able to cross by myself because no one cared enough to stop for a while to let me walk to the other road, I was worried that if I start walking no car will stop, and then all of a sudden a woman in her 20s approached me, told me that she is going to help me cross the streets, she took my little hand in hers and we started walking and every car had to stop, when we got to the other road i thanked her and she smiled at me, told me to be careful and walked away, 14 years later and i still remember her act of kindness and i really wish her all the best in life, wherever she is. ) but to yourself as well, be kind and easy on yourself, forgive yourself for all the mistakes you've done (you didn't know any better back then) forgive others as well (holding grudges will make your heart rotten to the core and you really don't want that to happen) and be brave enough to apologise to people whom you've hurt as well (no one is perfect and we will never be, but at the very least we should own up to our mistakes and apologise, and I also would like to apologise if I ever said anything wrong or rude to someone here, i hope you can forgive me) and take good care of yourself, of your mind, of your emotions and of your body (after all you can't pour from an empty cup) so you will be able to live your life with an open heart and a big faith that just like no matter how dark it gets, it will get better, and just like the sun rises, you will rise again.
and I would like to say one more thing: HEEHEE 🗣
If you reached this far, thank you for having the patience to read my words stranger, and I would love to hear about how the movie impacted you too 🤍.
PS: the picture(s) are not mine, I just found them randomly on the net.