u/campyqueer

so i live in this sort of post-capitalistic micro-society. we have no currency or economy, no formal government, and no real connections yet with other similar communities (i swear we aren't a cult tho). but we all have niches and roles that we play here, and it works out very well most of the time. we all enjoy living together in this society; every day feels like an opportunity to become part of a new story.

now, there's this guy who just moved into my community- we'll call him DG for "delusional guy." and he has been messing up my whole entire system here. to start, i'm basically like the defacto mayor here, but all my fellow citizens are losing respect for me because DG has come in and filled their heads with his crazy story of being some military hero fighting an imperialist dictator, and having insane abilities that just arent physically possible for us. we all know none of it is true, and ive expressed this a few times, but he continues fully believing his delusions and no one else from the community seems to have any misgivings about this. i truly believed DG was suffering from some kind of mental disorder or brain injury.

but still, everyone was fawning all over this guy. the girl i've been courting a while even flirts with DG sometimes. and to make matters even worse, almost immediately, our most important community member was practically eating out of the palm of his hand. we'll call him the governor. we don't have a true government, but if i'm like the mayor, this most important person is kinda like, the governor or something. and he is basically everyone's best friend. in particular, he was my best friend and I was his. but he was getting obsessed with this new guy, DG. and spending way too much time with DG, and practically neglecting myself and our other citizens. we depend on this governor for things like comfortable housing, community maintenance, employment and leisure programming, and more, but all he cares about now is DG. and DG doesnt even care about the governor in return! all DG cares about is fixing up his ride and returning to the delusions he's been spewing for days now.

one evening when our governor was invited on an outing with his boss (perhaps she could be considered our president?) she extended his invitation to include a +1. I knew that he would choose to invite DG, our newest local nutjob... so i did something that mightve been, maybe, a little bit... mean?

all i meant to do was push him into an area where he'd be inaccessible for a minute, out of sight of the governor for long enough that he would choose a different +1 for the outing. before DG showed up, it would have certainly been me that he chose, anyway!

unfortunately, the crazy dope moved at the wrong moment, and a horrible rube-goldberg style series of events led to DG being defenestrated. i'd later learn that he's fine, he wasn't even hurt, and his delusions would be resolved as he slowly broke free of some conditioning from before his move to our community.

but at the moment, everyone in our community thinks i murdered him. i did get chosen by the governor as the +1 in the end, though, so hopefully i've bought myself some time to figure out how to explain myself. i did not actually want to hurt DG! i don't think i'm a jerk for wanting to restore the balance and order that was working so well for our community before he showed up.

when i do have to face him again, and my other neighbors too, maybe this post will help. AITA for attempting to briefly, temporarily imprison DG, who i thought might be mentally ill or suffering from a brain injury? i swear i only had the community's best interests at heart. their growing acceptance of his delusions and disruption, and his swift overtaking of priority status with our governor, was all extremely concerning. the defenestration was absolutely not my plan and not my fault.

so in my culture we have this thing where its okay for people to kinda find their eventual romantic partners early, as long as its really the right match. i have a buddy meet his match when she was only two and he was in his late teens, or early 20's. and it WASNT WEIRD OKAY i swear to god people always scream p3do but he wasnt actually sexually attracted to her yet! she's only TWO! he'll be sexually attracted to her in sixteen years, when it's appropriate. and he'll never pressure her before then or do anything to force her into any dynamic that she doesn't want. if she only wants to be his friend some day, even as an adult when it's acceptable to be a romantic couple, he'll just be her friend and won't make her feel weird or guilty about it at all, no matter how much time he spent taking care of her and protecting her and bonding with her throughout her toddlerhood, childhood, and adolescence. maybe she could grow up into a lesbian or something. pretty sure my friend would just move in with her, and whatever girlfriend she gets some day, and be content to just stick around and never ever leave her, anyway. now, that scenario is very unlikely because pretty much none of the partners we find at an early age like that end up being queer. not sure it's ever happened. but it's just an example okay, i swear this "picking your partners early" thing ISNT as weird as everyone wants to think. we arent MONSTERS.

anyway, a similar thing happened to me. my best friend, who i thought i was in love with for a long time, just had a baby. and it turns out that baby is my person, i just know it. i will love her for her entire life, in whatever way is appropriate for the age she is at the time. she's a BABY now, im not thinking about sex or dating her at this age AT ALL. but my best friend is still super pissed at me for this, even though its not like i can really control it? like i just KNOW her daughter is gonna be my romantic partner one day. when she's older. for now i'm just like, her favorite babysitter or something. a beloved uncle. its totally NOT weird to transition from a close familial, caretaker roll into a romantic and sexual partner as a person matures, especially not when you've been by their side for their entire life and actively participate in raising them.

so, AITA? am i the jerk for loving my best friend's baby daughter in a NON-romantic and NON-sexual way until she is old enough for that to be acceptable?

so a while back, tensions were rising due to a powerful country dipping a little too deep into some imperialist type ideologies, and it looked like actual war was becoming more and more inevitable.

now, i myself am a pretty avoidant person. i hadnt even really acknowledged the conflict yet, but then out of nowhere it was like there was a draft specifically for ME. most of the citizens where i live are conscientious objectors anyway. its just the norm around here. but the local government just decided that i was like, exempt from conscientiously objecting, i guess. probably because i show a lot of potential to be a really skilled combatant, and everyone sort of expects people like me to be really successful with addressing political and military conflicts for some reason. that was all really outside my control, anyway.

i dont really have much in the way of a biological family, but been kinda fostered by this guy who is involved in our local government, and he's like a father to me. he has always tried to shield me from stuff like this, but now his buddies on the council are saying i gotta ship out ASAP to basic training so i can start fighting in this upcoming war. i might have overreacted a bit- turns out my foster dad intended to stop that plan from being carried out, but i was already being ostracized by all my friends, and i was just so afraid of being sent to fight that i ran away.

here's where the AITA comes in: am i the jerk for getting in a transportation accident and being in a coma as a result? i was driving in a bad storm, so it wasnt like it was exactly MY fault that the weather made unsafe conditions that led to my crash... but it was pretty much my choice to leave in the first place. anyway, after the crash, i was in that coma for a long while, and now that i'm awake, a ton of people are mad that i was knocked out for all that time as the war got started and kept building. and they STILL expect me to fight and figure out all their political and military conflicts for them! like, ive literally been in a coma and i was not even old enough to be drafted before i went into the coma. can i not just chill for a sec?