Day 1: My husbands trying to leave me and our daughter, so here I am
This is a long story, I’m new here and I don’t know if this is the best place for it but here we go…
I (F28) and my husband (M32) have been together for 5 years, married for the last 4. I met him at an hr internship I was doing after graduating, he was an employee at this finance company. We flirted a bit, started spending time together outside and everything was great. We liked each other but weren’t fully in love. Then I ended up pregnant… We decided to get married for the baby, which wasn’t ideal. But it’s not like we didn’t have any feelings for each other. We thought we’d be fine.
Well, I ended up having to stop working as someone needed to be with the baby, and he said he had more experience so I should be the stay at home mum. Our families didn’t really appreciate the impromptu marriage so they were avoiding helping as much as possible. So I ended up giving up on work. Which was fine, I do love spending time with my girl and she’s the ultimate source of my joy in life. I think of it as a luxury to be able to be present while she’s growing up.
I have been a freelance artist during this time, trying to at least have a hobby that can make occasional money. But of course that is nowhere near independence…
Which in my case, is freaking me out.
Usually not like me to go through his texts but something in me pushed me to. I was just uncomfortable in a way I don’t know how to describe so I just went ahead, and ngl what I saw was worse than what I expected. I was hoping for nothing but expecting like maybe a tinder account, some flirting and stuff. But no, this man has a whole mistress. Like a separate life kind of mistress.
I broke down in the bathroom, I don’t really know what to think still. As far as the texts go, there’s like 7 months of history between them two. Like how do I not see that?! I think back and what can be considered signs now were just normal behavior then, like how does someone expect this.
The thing is the very recent messages, I got hit by the final planning and all.
I learned just with this divorce is on the table. The thing is I got the ick anyway, even if I’m hurt I don’t wanna continue with this man. I don’t want my daughter to ever settle for a cheater so I should be an example. Also she shouldn’t keep anybody who lets some random person chat so much shit about their partner
But the money…. That’s the issue.
My current plan is to get evidence as heavily as possible by the time he starts with the divorce actions. But I can’t even afford a good lawyer right now. So I’m also trying to sell more paintings and find more commissions. Because idk if my degree is even usable after this big a gap in my resume.
I really want to get back at him and make him realise how f*cked it is for him to try blindsiding me like this. I will also never forget how he refers to spending time with our daughter and acting as if she’s a burden. I also see it as that mistresses effect honestly.
I’m about to have a full on meltdown but a side of me is pushing to be calculated and calm too. Idk what to do. I guess first step is to find work but what then?