I don’t know why I still want you
I don’t know why I still want you.
How I wish I could tear you out
Just as you tear at my heart.
When I look at you,
Do you look back at me out of malice?
Or is it out of simple ignorance?
Damn you,
You, who do not understand
Everything I would do for you,
While you look away,
And then smile at me.
You make me ecstatic
To the point of thinking a whole life with you.
What sweet torture you put upon me.
Dear God,
What have I done to deserve this?
And to whom else can I confide this
If not to this paper,
Which can handle more than I do?
Night after night, you torment me.
The caresses you once gave me,
The passion you once gifted me
Now distant
Leave me stranded in the past,
And I, who have faced down so many dangers,
Am now too terrified
Of asking you to hold me close,
And squeeze me one more time.