u/bryan_johns0n

This is it.
Everything learned spending millions on longevity.

From: Your Immortal Unc and Auntie.
To: Our Immortal nieces and nephews.

0. Sleep is the world's most powerful drug.
1. Be in your bed for 8 hours
2. Same bedtime every night, any time before midnight
3. Don’t eat right before bed
4. Calm foods for dinner
5. No screens 1 hour before bed
6. Avoid added sugar (be aware it’s in everything)
7. Avoid all things in an American convenience store
8. Avoid fried foods
9. Shoes off at the door
10. Eat whole foods, particularly veggies fruits nuts legumes berries
11. Walk a little after meals or air squats
12. Get your heart rate high routinely
13. Lift heavy things
14. Stretch daily
15. Water pik, floss, brush, tongue scrape, morning and night
16. Make an effort to drink water
17. Get sunlight when you wake up (UV is low)
18. Protect skin in midday sun
19. Stand up straight
20. See at least one friend once a week
21. Avoid plastic where you can (in all things)
22. Circulate air in rooms
23. When stressed, breathe, learn to calm your body
24. Go to the dentist
25. Avoid sitting for long times
26. Protect your hearing, the world is too loud
27. Alcohol is bad for you
28. Finish coffee before noon
29. Avoid bright lights after sunset
30. If obese, look into a GLP
31. Sleep in a cold room
32. Texting while driving is dangerous
33. Turn off all notifications
34. Limit social media use
35. Don’t smoke anything
36. If you struggle to sleep, read a physical book before bed
37. 1 hour before bed have a calm wind down routine: bath, read, light walk, listen to music
38. The body is a clock and loves routine. Have a daily morning and evening schedule.
39. Avoid long distance travel where you can
40. Baby steps first: incorporate new things slowly
41. Do less… most things don’t work.

Bonus points if you get your blood checked.

Start here, it will change your life.

This should not be possible.

Studies show that 100% of men have microplastics in their semen. I am the first human ever to show a complete reduction to zero.

This may be a world-first breakthrough in fertility research.

I had 165 microplastic particles in my semen just 18 months ago. Now, I have zero.

Five published studies have measured microplastics in human semen. Two found them in 100% of men. The other three found then in 44 to 76% of men tested, but those used methods that miss the smallest particles and the clear ones. Corrected for that, the real rate is likely 100%. Almost every man alive has plastic in his semen right now. The same applies to testicular tissue, testing 100% positive for microplastics.

Microplastics hurt sperm.

Human studies show the impact of various types of plastic, associated chemicals, and other toxins on male fertility:

+ 60% fewer normal shaped sperm (from PFAS)
+ 5x higher odds of low sperm count (from PTFE)
+ 10% lower sperm concentration (from PTFE)
+ 15% lower swimming ability (from PTFE)
+ 41% lower swimming ability (from PET)
+ 12% lower sperm swimming ability (from BPA)
+ 3x higher odds of low sperm count (from Phthalates)
+ 2x higher odds of poor swimming (from Phthalates)

The effects compound: each extra type of plastic drops sperm swimming ability by about 21%.

This matters even if you’re NOT trying to get pregnant.

Sperm count is one of the cleanest biomarkers of overall health we have. And microplastics don't stop at the testes.

The same particles are showing up everywhere we look. Studies show 4.5x higher rate of heart attack, stroke, and death in people with microplastics in their arterial plaque vs. those without. Microplastics were also found in 100% of human placentas tested.

100% of post-mortem human brains tested positive for microplastics. Brain concentrations rose ~50% between 2016 and 2024, and now sit at roughly 11x the levels found in the liver or kidney.

Where do these come from?
+ PTFE, commonly in non-stick pans
+ PET, water bottles
+ Phthalates, makes plastic soft and bendy
+ BPA, can linings
+ PFAS, stain-resistant fabrics & food packaging

Inside the body, plastic causes a kind of cellular rust. It triggers inflammation in the testicles, kills the cells that make sperm and drops testosterone. It's been confirmed across 39 animal and cell studies, then in human data.

MY PROTOCOL:

Note, what I did is n=1, not a controlled trial, I cannot prove cause.

1. Sauna (dry). My toxin blood panel confirms sauna clears plastic related chemicals: BPA, phthalates, PFAS, flame retardants, pesticides. The plastic particles themselves are too big to sweat out directly. Heat may activate other clearance routes: bile flow through the liver, the cell's internal cleanup system, and the gut barrier. Humans have almost no enzymes that can break plastic apart, so the body has to physically push it out.

2. Reverse osmosis water filter. Drinking water is likely a major source of microplastic getting into your body. A reverse osmosis filter pushes water through a very tight membrane and strains the particles out. I filter everything I drink.

3. Trying to rid my environment of the big plastic items: cutting boards, cups, plates, food storage containers, non-stick pans, cling wrap, tea bags, water bottles, kitchen utensils, kettles, and synthetic clothing. Note, as hard as I try, I'm always finding new plastic things in my life. This can be all-consuming thing so try to just knock out the big ones.

I did all three interventions at the same time. I cannot say which one did the most work. What I can say is this: going from 165 to zero in 18 months is possible.

Results:
Nov 2024: 165 particles/mL
Jul 2025: 20 particles/mL
Apr 2026: 0 particles/mL

The 18 month window also captures roughly 7 full spermatogenesis cycles.

https://preview.redd.it/q4zrbys6mk0h1.jpg?width=1294&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53574f46b15d6e5847ac71b306484fec0154825d

People mistakenly believe peptides are only good.

Peptides can be bad, too.

They can cause adverse effects. Some dangerous.

I did a peptide experiment and measured its effects in my body. The results are complicated.

I tried a peptide called CJC-1295.

It pushed my growth hormone up by ~8x. That’s good. That’s what it was supposed to do.

But, it also came with adverse effects:
> increased my morning fasted blood sugar up 20%
> increased stress hormone by 12%
> tanked my REM sleep by 23%
> made my pancreas work 53% harder and was still losing to rising blood glucose
> increased my insulin resistance by 50%

These were the most obvious side effects, and I only ran a very narrow panel for this experiment.

So I’m sure there’s more.

I stopped after two doses, without even reaching the intended target dose.

For those of you new to peptides, your body sends instructions to itself using tiny chemical messengers called peptides. There are thousands of them.

For example, GLP-1s are drugs that take an existing class of short-lived peptides and modify them to extend their activity duration, which turns them into drugs, following rigorous clinical testing.

CJC-1295 is one of those peptide-drugs. It tells your brain to release more growth hormone. Growth hormone is your body's signal to build muscle, repair tissue, and recover.

However, and like most grey market peptides, CJC-1295 did not succeed its clinical trial, and hence never became an “official” drug.

There is a version called CJC-1295 with DAC. DAC is an attachment glued onto the peptide that makes it last for days in your body instead of hours. One shot, longer effect, just like GLP-1s.

Why people use it: more growth hormone could mean better recovery, leaner body, faster healing.

The experiment I completed.

Two injections a week of CJC-1295 with DAC:
> 1.2 mg
> 1.8 mg

48 hours after the first injection I was nearly comatose. It felt like severe jet lag, the type you’d feel after traveling nine time zones. My sleep was wrecked and I felt continuously awful.

My REM sleep dropped by 23%. REM is when your brain processes memories and repairs itself. Less time for my brain to repair itself. During the experiment, I never felt rested and always fatigued.

Why we chose CJC-1295 with DAC.

Some will say we picked the wrong peptide. They will say I should have used a different version, CJC-1295 without DAC, mixed with another peptide called Ipamorelin. We went with CJC-1295 with DAC instead as it has the most controlled studies.

CJC-1295 with DAC has 2 controlled trials in healthy adults. Ipamorelin alone has 1 controlled trial in healthy adults, plus 1 study that failed when they tried it on bowel surgery patients. The mix of the two has zero controlled trials.

On Ipamorelin, it copies a chemical called ghrelin, the one that makes you hungry. On its own it gives you a quick burst of growth hormone that fades fast. It does not keep your longer acting growth signal (called IGF-1) up. Clinics mix Ipamorelin with CJC-1295 no-DAC because the two together are supposed to work better. But we don’t know if that’s accurate because we don’t have trial data.

This is a problem with peptides. Almost none of them have been tested properly. We are flying blind. Most of what people use is based on what someone said online, what a clinic claims, or what a friend reports from their subjective feelings.

Peptides have the potential to be great when well-studied.

https://preview.redd.it/httq92h11zzg1.jpg?width=988&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cbee47f943ce06fa28943331e80c1a12e44ca0c8

My brain became 40% more child-like in 3 minutes. This is what it felt like.

Me: “What question do we ask them next?”
My daughter: “Are they scared of the dark too?”

My six year old daughter and I were playing an imagination game. In this one, aliens had just landed on earth and we were asking them questions.

Listening to her thoughts and exploration as we interviewed the aliens brought me endless joy. As hard as I tried, my adult brain didn’t have the same flexibility and freedom. She reached where I couldn’t. My brain was trapped in adult-patterns that felt inescapable.

I'd always assumed that gap was permanent.

5-MeO-DMT proved me wrong.

After my large 28 mg dose, my brain patterns became 40% more original.

The technical name of the marker is Lempel-Ziv complexity. It’s a measure of how varied and distinct a brain signal’s patterns are. The lower the LZc score, the more predictable your brain patterns are. The higher the score, the more varied, distinct and neuroplastic.

5-MeO-DMT was like a magic potion transforming me from adult to child.

The morning after the dose, I awoke to a feeling of giddiness. Butterflies floated in my stomach as I imagined what surprises the day may bring. The gray clouds of adult-dread that typically overcast my mind were gone. It was all sunshine.

In my hotel room, I took a quick shower and then ran to a local cafe. I wanted to surprise Kate with a morning coffee before she woke up. I knocked on her door. Confused and barely able to see, she opened upon hearing my voice. I embraced her, teasing and flirting. She wrapped both her hands around the warm mug and I opened the curtains to let in the joy.

We had a flight to catch so she showered and packed up. Not having time that morning to exercise, I decided to sprint down the hallway, and then skip back. Energy overflowed. The world felt light and right. It was a new me, with new patterns, and a fire for life.

Kate was amused, observing and wondering what was going on. Life was like this for days.

Now seven weeks post dose, it’s faded. The longing for that state has not.

When I imagine the future, I remind myself that I’m now mostly blind to the power of awe and wonder. I am trapped in a 48 year old brain that is weighed down by barnacles and stuck in patterns.

> I want the future more than my adult brain can see.
> I hunger for life more than my adult brain can understand.
> Children are wiser than we give them credit.
> Intelligence may not be about what you think you know.
> But in the vast, endless space of curiosity and wonder.
> Unburdened by the world.

Notes:

1. To our knowledge, this is the first publicly available human recording of this signal under 5-MeO-DMT. Seen before with psilocybin and N,N-DMT.

2. Thank you AWEAR for the EEG device and Joseph Chen for help with the data analysis.

https://preview.redd.it/b48c1cacsrzg1.jpg?width=1078&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44a2b1103975d53c43220505d44cd2cfb3612f22

Magic mushrooms dropped my sperm count 69%.

90 days later, my motile count in top 1% of all males.

To our knowledge, this is the first time this has been documented in a human.

Here is what we think happened.

Sperm cells have tiny receivers on them called 5-HT2A receptors. Psilocybin turns those receivers on for 4-8 hours which causes the sperm to start swimming in wild, frantic patterns way too early. Like a sprinter who runs full speed before the race even starts. They burn out and the test sees them as broken.

At the same time, psilocybin spikes your stress hormones cortisol and ACTH and elevates prolactin. High prolactin tells your body to slow down sperm production. So the factory got a pause signal right in the middle of making a batch.

Your body makes a completely new batch of sperm every 9-11 weeks. Three months later I retested. Every single number came back better than before taking magic mushrooms. We don't yet know if psilocybin triggered the improvement or if my baseline was already trending up.

Either way, these are my best fertility markers ever measured:

Total motile count: 411 million
Motility: 64%
Morphology: 12%
Concentration: 212 million
Count: 642 million

To put these numbers into perspective: the WHO considers a motile count above 42 million as normal, mine is 411 million, nearly 10x.

And a normal concentration is 16 million (mL), mine is 212 million (mL).

It appears that the factory shut down for one cycle and then rebuilt everything from scratch.

After psilocybin, I did 5-MeO-DMT, which doesn't appear to cause the same problem. It clears your body in 1-2 hours which isn’t long enough to trigger the receptor effect.

Note: I also did extensive travel including a trip to China, and had 3 weeks of disrupted sleep in December 2025. Both could have nudged my numbers down, but neither explains a 69% drop on their own.

https://preview.redd.it/65pty151f5zg1.jpg?width=780&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c606ab52e7c9f51d8b9d1390f2057834187b64a

I got put under and had probes inspect my gastrointestinal tract. Down my throat and up the anus. It was my first bidirectional endoscopy.

Right before the anesthesiologist injected, I thought "This is the end. This is how I die. What could make the internet happier?" Then it was lights out.

This was important to do because colon cancer is now the #1 cancer killer under 50, and rising fast.

Early onset colorectal cancer incidence has more than doubled since 1994, climbing roughly by 3% per year in 20 to 49 year olds and 8% in 20 to 29 year olds.

Even though I routinely do all sorts of painful things to my body and mind for this project, this procedure had been weighing on me. I didn't want to go under and, you know, didn't love the idea of the probes being snaked through my body. Glad it's over and it honestly was not as bad as I had anticipated.

Here are my results:
+ doctor gave me a 10/10 score
+ no polyps
+ no inflammatory bowel disease
+ no diverticulosis, a common colon-aging marker
+ we are awaiting biopsy results

Colonoscopy screening can save your life. A meta-analysis of over 4.7 million people found colonoscopy was associated with 52% and 62% reduction in colorectal cancer incidence and mortality.

A regular full body MRI (I get one every 6 months) can't reliably detect early colon lesions or polyps. A colonoscopy remains the gold standard for both detection and removal.

The recommended screening age has been lowered from 50 to 45 in 2021.

Half of early colorectal cancer cases now fall in 45 to 49 year olds.

Obesity is a genuine colorectal cancer risk factor. A meta-analysis involving over 66,000 participants found obesity raises early colorectal cancer odds by roughly 50%. Yet it is unlikely to fully explain the under 50 surge.

A new study surfaced an unexpected culprit. Across 10 cohorts and 29 lifestyle and environmental signatures, comparing tumor DNA methylation in early-onset (<50) vs late-onset (≥70) colorectal cancer, one signal stood out: the herbicide picloram.

Early onset tumors showed ~3 fold higher odds of carrying the picloram methylation signature in the discovery cohort, and 1.77-fold across all 10 pooled cohorts (114 early onset vs 372 late onset).

Across 94 US counties over 21 years (1992 to 2012), picloram-use intensity correlated with increase in EOCRC incidence, the most robust signal among 62 pesticides tested.

Early onset tumors carried a lower obesity methylation signature than late onset, suggesting that environmental toxins, more than metabolic dysfunction, are the dominant epigenetic driver in young patients.

Epigenetic drift drives biological aging and most age-related disease: chemicals assumed safe because they aren't directly genotoxic may still predispose us to cancer and chronic disease over decades through methylation and gene-expression disruption

It's time to ring the alarm: every additive chemical in our food, water, and environment needs re-evaluation through a long term, population-based epigenetic and gene expression lens, not just acute genotoxicity assays

Epigenetic disruption by environmental toxins is likely a key driver.

https://preview.redd.it/jsavt2ok98yg1.jpg?width=1038&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7549800676f2481137d88c2d6fedc7ee89158b6