I know everything they say is fake. Heck they groomed me for 3 years yet they don't rememeber how old I am. My bday.. I mean I'd rememebr that abt a classmate I'd talk to once but. Knowing that n I'd still Want them to pretend. This is self sabotage at it's finest.
I feel like I'm suffocating in this place. No friendship feels genuine. Even family don't feel genuine I don't feel safe around anybody n life is looking like it's reaching it's end I've tried countless times to end my life. I dont want to burden anybody while trying to do so I don't want to make it out alive I don't another lecture about how I'm embarrassing my family by doing this and it'll never work
I been a few weeks clean, it feels like nothingggs stopping my arm is already looong gone the empty space in it jus looks like something to fill up
I talked to someone who's done me wrong like only online but as I'm expressing my feelings I had to stop because my whole body couldn't stop trembling and i can't even breath n its the first time it happened and it's so weird to me that even from a far something could be so triggering I couldn't even find my breath and I wasn't crying or anything
I've been hiding my scars for six years but I've gone out without sleeves b4, everytine I do I regret it, I was brave enough to go to school without sleeves and I hate that people pity me and they don't even talk abt it directly to me instead they go search for someone that knows abt me. Or I get harrassed by women I get told I'm some drug addict. I wish I could live sleeveless. It's hot in here I'm tired of sitting next to the ac all summer.. I wish people didn't see me differently but I don't wanna get rid of my scars. It's not like I can either I tried laser it just takes off the redness
Sometimes I look at this guy's Instagram and I see him being tagged in posts going on events playing games with people, and im just so FUCKING mad about it I don't even know what to do about it the thought that this guy probably has CP of me around in his fucking flash drive. And yes he does when I was being groomed he'd say I don't want people knowing I have this so I put it in there and i was such an oblivious kid. Now I look his followers n I see his friends I'm thinking of exposing this fucker and then I check his friends following and oh my god...ITS LIKE A NEVER ENDING CYCLE women dressing up like kids in explicit ways n I just wanna cry this fucker deserves to die in a ditch.
I'm obsessed with the acoustic version of zombie. I just started listening to them recently and I'd love recommendations likee this song
My cousin whos autistic is really weird on sexual stuff he's a year older than me and when I was 13 he had been really touchy and him staying at our house means I have to lock the door sometimes even hide myself in the closet so he wouldn't annoy me. And i don't know if it's affected me in someways but I know that he's capable on knowing what's bad what's right and I've told him multiple times to leave me alone n I push him everytime but he jus is like that. Now I'm thinking he's older I'm 17 he's 18 I'm thinking what if someday his family comes over and he's still like this?