My experience - 12 sessions done
I am writing this because I found it helpful reading other peoples posts about their experiences.
M, 50, I have been living with treatment-resistant depression with suicidal ideation since high school. Meds will work for a few months and I will feel great and then it just stops and all the bad stuff comes up. I am currently on Effexor, Wellbutrin, Abilify and (Adderall for ADHD). My current talk therapist recommended I try Spravato.
Bad stuff is I like to beat myself up in my head. Your no good, better if you were not here, etc. The way I like to describe it is there is a door in my head and all the bad thoughts are on the other side of that door. They are knocking. Sometimes loudly. My current meds would keep the door shut but I still hear the knocking. Some days the door would open a crack.
Spravato. I have just finished my first 12 treatments (2 x per week for 4 weeks, then 1 x per week for 4 weeks). I could tell a difference by the 2nd or 3rd treatment. The door vanished. Along with all the bad shit that was behind it. If a bad thought enters my mind it immediately goes away and I feel like "That was a stupid thought!" and I go about my day. Suicidal thoughts are non-existent now.
For me the treatment is a double edge sword. The "high" and "trip" is fun for the 45 minutes it lasts. You *have* to stay 2 hours so they can make sure your not having a bad reaction. After that you are tired and not really able to do anything but sleep when you get home. It has thrown a big wrench into family and work life. (BUT, well worth it!) I am *very* lucky to have awesome work and family support.
I didn't want to make this too long so feel free to ask me any questions you may have. Here or in private chat.