Applied Physics feasibility as a transfer
As the title suggests, I was admitted this year as a junior-year transfer (current sophomore) from a UC. I study applied physics here and that’d be what I would study at Caltech. I applied to transferred to get more challenge, and I guess I got it, because I am seriously questioning my ability to healthily survive Caltech.
At my school, I’m usually averaging between 95 and 100 on most physics courses here, in the upper-division level of all my courses and so on. I work moderately hard, but then again the courses aren’t that hard. Relative to my class, I am usually considered to be among a small handful of the highest performers in a strictly academic sense. Although I’ve said all these nice things about my abilities, I suffer from a number of mental health issues. I am not a very stable person, I have a nasty perfectionism streak and relentless anxiety about schoolwork, among many other things that I intuit are very not-good to have at Caltech.
My chief concern is that Caltech will break me before it breaks me of my old mentality. I have some other great options, the most promising of which being Stanford, but I’d hate to settle :p. On one hand, I would never otherwise find out what I’m truly capable of, and would always wonder what would’ve happened would I have chosen Caltech. I love physics research enough to be hoping to pursue a PhD, and I enjoyed my visit to Caltech. On the other hand, the downside risk is far worse at Caltech, because if I don’t cut it, things could become very bad very fast. I don’t want to transfer again, drop out, or god forbid have something worse happen, but all are possible in principle. It’s my impression that the institution has gotten better at not killing its students in the past few decades, but the stories I’ve heard about the impact this place has had on some who attended it keep me up at night.
None of you know me, so I can’t ask you to tell me exactly if I can or can’t do this, but I would really appreciate pertinent stories, experiences, counter examples and the like. There is so much more I can write and say on this, but I hope I was able to clearly articulate my concerns.