My mom doesn’t believe my symptoms could be caused by a real disorder.
I’m currently being evaluated for schizophrenia, bipolar, and ocd.
I’ve been dealing with MDD for years, and my psychiatrist suspects I’m developing psychotic features.
I haven’t talked in depth with my parents about these new symptoms, only with my doctor.
Last night I finally opened up about some delusions I’ve been having and certain paranoias I’ve been dealing with to my mom, and her first question was “is this a side effect of one of your medications?”.
I know she is genuinely asking but also I feel defeated bc it is always her first instinct to blame the medications that are the only thing helping. She refuses to suspect I could possibly have anything worse than depression.
She grew up in a religious family that was against meds, and believed in just praying instead. She’s obviously gotten over that enough to help me get medicinal help, but it’s like she thinks God would never “allow” me to have such an intense disorder.
She prayed over me for like 30 minutes last night asking God to remove whatever “unclean spirit” is tormenting me”.
I believe in God and I believe in spiritual torment but I also know that disorders exist and not every bad thing is spiritual. It’s incredibly invalidating to assume everything I’m dealing with is just spiritual and not that something could be chemically wrong or a real psychological issue.
Our conversation made me never want to really open up about it again because I’m honestly afraid if I told her about my hallucinations she would think I’m possessed or something.
How do I even deal with a possible disorder like schizophrenia or bipolar when my parents don’t believe there’s really something psychologically wrong?
They also help finance my doctor appointments and medications, and I’m afraid that if I do get diagnosed with one of those disorders, my parents will think we can’t trust my doctor, or that he’s lying or not qualified since he’s saying something they don’t like, or believe in.
I really really trust my doctor and he’s been so great and he is so qualified to help me, I would be completely defeated and hopeless if they took away his help.
If anyone has any advice on how to deal with this or talk to them in a way that might open their minds, I would really appreciate it.
I want to be gracious with them because I know it is how they were raised by their parents, but it’s incredibly frustrating.
Any input would be comforting.