u/ausernamenottake1

🚜 LOOKING TO LEARN HOW TO BUILD AND MAINTAIN A HOMESTEAD 🚜

Basically a single Black woman in America looking to build a life on a farm.

Currently a nurse assistant who absolutely hates wiping ass, but unsurprisingly has a lot of physical stamina for most things.

-Can tolerate the smell of animal poop.
-Fearless.
-Willing to learn practical skills.

As a Black woman interested in farming I may statistically unlock bonus governmental grant opportunities. Let us capitalize.

I bring:
• 0 upfront down payments
• strong legs
• willingness to work
• and a bush currently threatening the stability of my existing relationship

At this point I would rather learn carpentry, raise chickens, and disappear into the woods than argue about pussy hair before 9 a.m.

P.S. It’s not that I’m against shaving.
Take me out to dinner first.
Wait until the afternoon.
Do not bombard me with 18 other complaints while I’m at work , feeding people, and trying to survive capitalism before demanding immediate pussy maintenance.

Serious inquiries only.

🚨 NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS 🚨
For one financially stable man capable of outbidding my current gentleman.
(He’s abusive, so honestly the competition is not fierce.)

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✨ ABOUT ME ✨ 🌈🤓👹☀️

• Loyal
• Creative
• Emotionally intense
• Hardworking
• Slightly unhinged but self-aware
• Trying to build an actual peaceful life for myself

I want to learn practical life skills, work hard, create beautiful things, and eventually build a calm home instead of surviving endless criticism disguised as “communication.”

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✨ REQUIREMENTS ✨

I do not require perfection.
You do not need to worship me.
You do not need to act alpha 24/7.

You simply need to be:

• Kind
• Consistent
• Respectful
• Emotionally stable
• Capable of loving a woman without turning microscopic mistakes into a 5-hour psychological warfare event

The bar is honestly low.

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✨ IDEAL CANDIDATE ✨

I like men who:

• take care of themselves
• have ambition
• can laugh
• understand relationships are supposed to feel safe sometimes

Bonus points if you:

• know how to build things
• have practical life skills
• can fix random household problems
• possess enough emotional regulation to let a woman burn the garlic bread in peace

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✨ IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS ✨

I will stay very faithful if treated well.
(Shocking concept, I know.)

Please love yourself more than you love me.
I do not want to become someone’s therapist, mother, emotional support animal, or entire personality.

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Thank you.
Lovingly awaiting your reply. 💌